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Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board
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Old 10-16-2012, 06:55 PM   #16
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Re: The one single thing I most regret and miss ....

I had to put myself in Mom's position to get past my hump. As traumatic as it is for you, just imagine how confusing, scary, and disconcerting it is for Lucy not to understand what is going on in her world and being unable to figure it out. At least we can apply logic. As resistant as Lucy is... you will be doing her a favor. The hysteria you saw the other night should explain it all. Yes, you were distressed but just imagine her distress!! When I put myself in Mom's position and looked through her eyes for a while... I had to do something.

Love, deb

 
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:13 AM   #17
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Re: The one single thing I most regret and miss ....

Yes, bi-polar is a symptom. My husband had daily mood swings and bad temper tantrums before he began Seroquel. This medicine has calmed him down and today he is doing much better. Finally with all of his medication (Aricept, Namenda and Seroquel) our life is as near normal as we can expect with this illness. Before it was a nightmare each day, so bad I felt I could no longer handle living with him after 48 years. Talk with his/her doctor, get help now!

Last edited by Deenie41; 01-23-2013 at 10:16 AM.

 
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Old 02-06-2013, 07:36 AM   #18
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Re: The one single thing I most regret and miss ....

How's it going, Luau and everyone? Well, I hope. We have been through a rough Holiday season but, weathering it well despite the after effects. In late November I found out I had Stage 3 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma of the breast. Had a mastectomy on the 24th of December and spent Christmas in the hospital. Hubby was home with out older daughter who had come home to help us. I don't think my husband fully understands what's going on with me but, he does know that I'm sick somehow and wants to help make me feel better. It is so touching and soothing to have his natural inclination to be kind and tender when I hurt come out but, when I tell him to rub my back, his motor movements are so distorted and he can't control his hands and body very well that he ends up leaning on me instead. Lol. Have been through the first round of chemo and that made me very sick for over a week and our kids struggled so hard to keep him from bothering me every 10 minutes. He wants to help make it better for me and gets mad at them for trying to stop him. Life is just a road of bumps for us lately. Hope all is well for all, though!

 
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Old 02-06-2013, 09:35 AM   #19
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Re: The one single thing I most regret and miss ....

@Scorptired
Wow... I am sorry that you are suffering through breast cancer. It is a lot. Please remember to take care of yourself, first and foremost. The chemo regiment that you need to endure will already tax you to the extreme. You know, with dementia, the basic emotional bond seems to be the most persistent. It is good to hear your hubby still able to show his care and concern for you, even if his back rubs are less than stellar! (I don't have that problem. My DW has always given very lousy back rubs. I have not expectations!)

Lucy has been in a fairly prolonged period (couple of months!) of relative lucidity. The medication prescribed by her neurologist, ostensibly to treat epileptic seizures, seems to be helping greatly in stabilizing her mood swings. Her short term memory lapses are also not as severe. So there is a bit of normalcy in the household, at least for the time being. However, the dysfunctions involving higher reasoning (e.g. 2+13 = what?) are still there, except they are much easier for me to deal with because of her more even keeled mood. The memory "holes" are still as gaping, if not slightly larger, which she is learning to fill in with fictitious memories. This "hole filling" is mostly harmless, which I just let go, but at times can be a bit tricky to deal with, especially when it pertains to a critical issue. I am maintaining for the time being. As is my darling Lucy.

 
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scorptired (02-16-2013)
Old 02-06-2013, 05:31 PM   #20
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Re: The one single thing I most regret and miss ....

Scorp, I am so sorry you are having to deal with the breast cancer along with your husband at the same time. I do understand. I remember how Dad wanted to make Mom feel better when in fact he was annoying her. Mom went through breast cancer and Chemo when Dad was in the very early stages. She started locking herself in the bedroom on the really bad days. She put a note on the door... "I'm fine but need some time for myself". That helped he a lot. I think more than anything he needs the reassurance that you are ok.

Glad the kids have stepped up and I do hope the treatment goes well for you.

Love, deb

 
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