Mom passed away today
 

She was struggling for quite a long time, she could no longer walk and was dependent on Nursing care at all times. Even though she wanted to live, she wasn't connecting that she needed to eat, but was refusing food for the last several weeks, surviving only on a spoon here and there.
I'm hurting. I stayed with her for almost 2 weeks and came home to be with my family for Christmas. Just yesterday I was planning another trip up to see her again, but I got a call this morning that she had passed. My sister was with my mom for the last several days, but mom had passed when no one was around. Maybe it was meant to be this way. The week ahead is going to be so difficult with the funeral and all. I find myself strong at times, and at other times broken and crying. Right now, I am in a daze and can't get myself motivated to pack my suitcase.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Sorry for your loss. I know it will be hard when my Mom passes too. She's 92 and in pretty good health so far. Just her dementia being the big issue. I'm thankful that we seem to be able to get along so well since we did not when I was in High School. Maybe I've mellowed too but she seems to have accepted that I need to be helping her..

Again, sorry for your loss. Hard time of year to lose a loved one.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

So sorry for the loss of your mum. I do not know what you are going through but can only imagine. My mum was born in 1949 and has had a brain tumour on her left frontal for the last twenty years. Over Xmas I have been informed that she has lost the use of her legs, memory is very limit and so is speech, having to be carried everywhere. 2013 is not going to be a very nice year.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Thank you, even though I knew this time was coming, I feel numb.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Several of my family members, including my father, were nursed to their deaths through Hospice services. In each case we were told not to stay by the bedside continuously. Each hour we were to step away for at least 10 minutes. Some people are not able let go if their loved ones are at their side. Don't feel the least bit of guilt over not being their. It was what your Mom needed.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

[QUOTE=AllandNothing;5110222]Several of my family members, including my father, were nursed to their deaths through Hospice services. In each case we were told not to stay by the bedside continuously. Each hour we were to step away for at least 10 minutes. Some people are not able let go if their loved ones are at their side. Don't feel the least bit of guilt over not being their. It was what your Mom needed.[/QUOTE]

Thank you, those words comfort me. I wasn't in the city at all when she passed. I stayed with her for 2 weeks straight before then, and everyday it was pretty much from the morning to the evening. I went home a week and 2 days before Christmas to be with my family. Other family members were with mom, but went home for the night, but mom passed when no one but the Nursing Staff was there.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Sorry for your loss and can only imagine how you are feeling. My mother has vascular dementia and is 92. Her older sister by 18 months, funeral is today. My stepdaughter 57 years old died the day before thanksgiving. It has been a very sad time around our house recently but life must go on. Hope you find comfort and peace in the days to come.

aras

Re: Mom passed away today
 

[QUOTE=dorri;5110130]She was struggling for quite a long time, she could no longer walk and was dependent on Nursing care at all times. Even though she wanted to live, she wasn't connecting that she needed to eat, but was refusing food for the last several weeks, surviving only on a spoon here and there.
I'm hurting. I stayed with her for almost 2 weeks and came home to be with my family for Christmas. Just yesterday I was planning another trip up to see her again, but I got a call this morning that she had passed. My sister was with my mom for the last several days, but mom had passed when no one was around. Maybe it was meant to be this way. The week ahead is going to be so difficult with the funeral and all. I find myself strong at times, and at other times broken and crying. Right now, I am in a daze and can't get myself motivated to pack my suitcase.[/QUOTE]

I'm very sorry for your lose. My mom is my world and do I can't begin to imagine your pain. My God be close to you and your family during this difficult time.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

[QUOTE=aras;5110360]Sorry for your loss and can only imagine how you are feeling. My mother has vascular dementia and is 92. Her older sister by 18 months, funeral is today. My stepdaughter 57 years old died the day before thanksgiving. It has been a very sad time around our house recently but life must go on. Hope you find comfort and peace in the days to come.

aras[/QUOTE]

Sorry for your losses. I understand.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Oh Dorri I am so sorry, I lost my mom early this year, it is hard, death is not pretty so perhaps it was best that mom went when she did, she may have wanted it that way. She is now at peace and no doubt she is thankful for all that you have done for her. take some time to breath and by all means cry, it is healing. There will be many things that will bring on the tears at any time. Now is the time to reflect on those good memories that you put away. Focus on your moms smile, her touch and remember she loved you.

Hugs Judy...

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Thank you for all your support, soon I am leaving again to help my sister out with the rest of the arrangements. Something tells me that I won't feel at peace until mom is laid to rest. Right now, I am questioning, do I want to view her body or be left with the picture in my mind with the last time I left her when she was alive and sleeping peacefully. I kissed her and told her that I loved her like I had hundreds of times before. When I left I wanted to run back and scoop her up and take her out of there but I told myself to give my head a shake because I wasn't thinking logically. That's the last I seen her alive. God bless her.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Dorri,
I am sorry that your Mom passed away. My late FIL passed away in the summer and we were not there in the early morning when he passed. No way we could predict it as he was not literally dying. The heart stopped in his sleep.
The most important thing is that your Mom died in peace and comfort.
Please accept my condolences.

Hugs,
Nina

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Mom's funeral was today and already the thoughts are starting that maybe I should have done more or sat with her longer or believed more or something. I still haven't absorbed that she is gone.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Dorri, first let my express my condolences. It is difficult to lose a loved one, especially our Mom's. What we can not do is second guess what we have or have not done. You did what you could at the time. It happened as it happened for a reason. You have to let it be. Focus not on what you might not have done but what you did do. You had two good weeks with your Mom. Hang onto that. Mom may have waited until she was alone. This might just be how she wanted it. Remember that it was no you in control. Please do not second guess the way it happened. It happened that way for a reason. We may not understand why but there is a reason. It is better to accept what was than to fill your life with unwarranted regrets.

My Mom's services were the same day as your Mom's. I saw it as a celebration of her life. She is no longer riddled with this disease but whole with my Dad. She is no longer suffering but free. Feel her relief....

Love, deb

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Oh Deb, I am so sorry for your loss. This is the first I'm reading about your mom. My condolences out to you as well. I hope she went peacefully. it always helps when we know that they did?
Hope you are getting some long needed rest. Hugs.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Hi Dorri: I am very sorry for your loss. My mother passed away in October 2007 after having surgery to remove a large cancerous growth from the roof of her mouth. She was 85 years old and probably too weak for extensive surgery like she had. She died in the hospital and her body was picked up by the Neptune Society, cremated per her instructions to them and we were told about it after the fact. Not being able to say goodbye to her has been extremely painful for my family but knowing that she is at peace gives some comfort. Treasure whatever memories you have of her and try to take comfort in knowing that she isn't suffering anymore. Take care and, again, very sorry for your loss.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Thank you all for your kind replies, they are comforting to know I am not alone.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Hi Dorri:
You are very welcome! I'm glad that, despite my own sadness, I can offer comfort to someone else. Grief is a very powerful emotion that has a different affect on different people and all of us grieve in different ways. I
miss my mother as much or more now than I did when she died in 2007 but I take comfort in remembering all the things she told me about death when my aunt, her only sister, died at the age of 37 when I was only 12. During the times when I missed her the most I would think back to a happier time when I was with her and over the years I learned how to cope with other deaths the same way. My mother told me then that one day she would die and I would have to be strong enough to help people around me and she was right.
Thanks for writing back to me and hold onto the precious memories of your mother. Keep her in your heart and she will always be with you.
Best wishes,
Exandria:)

Re: Mom passed away today
 

Thank you Exandra. Sorry to hear about your mom. I will try to remember all the happy times with mom. Lately death and dying doesn't seem as terrifying as it did before. A few years ago we were not ready to let mom go, but as we went through the journey with her and seen her suffer, we understood why she needed to go.

Re: Mom passed away today
 

You are in my thoughts and prayers. My mom passed a few years ago after having Altzheimer's and I can understand your feelings. As others have said, remember the good times and concentrate on those. You will get through this with the support of family and friends. God bless.