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dorri 12-29-2012 10:53 AM

Mom passed away today
 
She was struggling for quite a long time, she could no longer walk and was dependent on Nursing care at all times. Even though she wanted to live, she wasn't connecting that she needed to eat, but was refusing food for the last several weeks, surviving only on a spoon here and there.
I'm hurting. I stayed with her for almost 2 weeks and came home to be with my family for Christmas. Just yesterday I was planning another trip up to see her again, but I got a call this morning that she had passed. My sister was with my mom for the last several days, but mom had passed when no one was around. Maybe it was meant to be this way. The week ahead is going to be so difficult with the funeral and all. I find myself strong at times, and at other times broken and crying. Right now, I am in a daze and can't get myself motivated to pack my suitcase.

Super Page 12-29-2012 12:12 PM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
Sorry for your loss. I know it will be hard when my Mom passes too. She's 92 and in pretty good health so far. Just her dementia being the big issue. I'm thankful that we seem to be able to get along so well since we did not when I was in High School. Maybe I've mellowed too but she seems to have accepted that I need to be helping her..

Again, sorry for your loss. Hard time of year to lose a loved one.

Keris01 12-29-2012 01:15 PM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
So sorry for the loss of your mum. I do not know what you are going through but can only imagine. My mum was born in 1949 and has had a brain tumour on her left frontal for the last twenty years. Over Xmas I have been informed that she has lost the use of her legs, memory is very limit and so is speech, having to be carried everywhere. 2013 is not going to be a very nice year.

dorri 12-29-2012 04:15 PM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
Thank you, even though I knew this time was coming, I feel numb.

AllandNothing 12-29-2012 04:34 PM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
Several of my family members, including my father, were nursed to their deaths through Hospice services. In each case we were told not to stay by the bedside continuously. Each hour we were to step away for at least 10 minutes. Some people are not able let go if their loved ones are at their side. Don't feel the least bit of guilt over not being their. It was what your Mom needed.

dorri 12-29-2012 05:15 PM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
[QUOTE=AllandNothing;5110222]Several of my family members, including my father, were nursed to their deaths through Hospice services. In each case we were told not to stay by the bedside continuously. Each hour we were to step away for at least 10 minutes. Some people are not able let go if their loved ones are at their side. Don't feel the least bit of guilt over not being their. It was what your Mom needed.[/QUOTE]

Thank you, those words comfort me. I wasn't in the city at all when she passed. I stayed with her for 2 weeks straight before then, and everyday it was pretty much from the morning to the evening. I went home a week and 2 days before Christmas to be with my family. Other family members were with mom, but went home for the night, but mom passed when no one but the Nursing Staff was there.

aras 12-30-2012 02:54 AM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
Sorry for your loss and can only imagine how you are feeling. My mother has vascular dementia and is 92. Her older sister by 18 months, funeral is today. My stepdaughter 57 years old died the day before thanksgiving. It has been a very sad time around our house recently but life must go on. Hope you find comfort and peace in the days to come.

aras

totallynumb 12-30-2012 05:53 AM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
[QUOTE=dorri;5110130]She was struggling for quite a long time, she could no longer walk and was dependent on Nursing care at all times. Even though she wanted to live, she wasn't connecting that she needed to eat, but was refusing food for the last several weeks, surviving only on a spoon here and there.
I'm hurting. I stayed with her for almost 2 weeks and came home to be with my family for Christmas. Just yesterday I was planning another trip up to see her again, but I got a call this morning that she had passed. My sister was with my mom for the last several days, but mom had passed when no one was around. Maybe it was meant to be this way. The week ahead is going to be so difficult with the funeral and all. I find myself strong at times, and at other times broken and crying. Right now, I am in a daze and can't get myself motivated to pack my suitcase.[/QUOTE]

I'm very sorry for your lose. My mom is my world and do I can't begin to imagine your pain. My God be close to you and your family during this difficult time.

dorri 12-30-2012 07:32 AM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
[QUOTE=aras;5110360]Sorry for your loss and can only imagine how you are feeling. My mother has vascular dementia and is 92. Her older sister by 18 months, funeral is today. My stepdaughter 57 years old died the day before thanksgiving. It has been a very sad time around our house recently but life must go on. Hope you find comfort and peace in the days to come.

aras[/QUOTE]

Sorry for your losses. I understand.

jagsmu 12-30-2012 09:21 PM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
Oh Dorri I am so sorry, I lost my mom early this year, it is hard, death is not pretty so perhaps it was best that mom went when she did, she may have wanted it that way. She is now at peace and no doubt she is thankful for all that you have done for her. take some time to breath and by all means cry, it is healing. There will be many things that will bring on the tears at any time. Now is the time to reflect on those good memories that you put away. Focus on your moms smile, her touch and remember she loved you.

Hugs Judy...

dorri 12-30-2012 09:46 PM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
Thank you for all your support, soon I am leaving again to help my sister out with the rest of the arrangements. Something tells me that I won't feel at peace until mom is laid to rest. Right now, I am questioning, do I want to view her body or be left with the picture in my mind with the last time I left her when she was alive and sleeping peacefully. I kissed her and told her that I loved her like I had hundreds of times before. When I left I wanted to run back and scoop her up and take her out of there but I told myself to give my head a shake because I wasn't thinking logically. That's the last I seen her alive. God bless her.

ninamarc 12-31-2012 12:32 AM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
Dorri,
I am sorry that your Mom passed away. My late FIL passed away in the summer and we were not there in the early morning when he passed. No way we could predict it as he was not literally dying. The heart stopped in his sleep.
The most important thing is that your Mom died in peace and comfort.
Please accept my condolences.

Hugs,
Nina

dorri 01-03-2013 05:12 PM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
Mom's funeral was today and already the thoughts are starting that maybe I should have done more or sat with her longer or believed more or something. I still haven't absorbed that she is gone.

Gabriel 01-03-2013 09:41 PM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
Dorri, first let my express my condolences. It is difficult to lose a loved one, especially our Mom's. What we can not do is second guess what we have or have not done. You did what you could at the time. It happened as it happened for a reason. You have to let it be. Focus not on what you might not have done but what you did do. You had two good weeks with your Mom. Hang onto that. Mom may have waited until she was alone. This might just be how she wanted it. Remember that it was no you in control. Please do not second guess the way it happened. It happened that way for a reason. We may not understand why but there is a reason. It is better to accept what was than to fill your life with unwarranted regrets.

My Mom's services were the same day as your Mom's. I saw it as a celebration of her life. She is no longer riddled with this disease but whole with my Dad. She is no longer suffering but free. Feel her relief....

Love, deb

dorri 01-03-2013 11:11 PM

Re: Mom passed away today
 
Oh Deb, I am so sorry for your loss. This is the first I'm reading about your mom. My condolences out to you as well. I hope she went peacefully. it always helps when we know that they did?
Hope you are getting some long needed rest. Hugs.


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