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Old 01-10-2013, 12:47 AM   #1
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Stage 7 Alzheimers...My Dad

My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers 10 yrs ago, and he was in stage 1. He is now 84 as of Dec. 2012. He is in stage 7A from what I can gather. He had to go into a nursing home 2 yrs ago from incontinence as my mother could not physically handle it at her age. It was horrible having to see him go into one, but he is in an excellent place. I wish I could care for him in my home and wait on him hand and foot, but I can't do the "changing" for the incontinence since he still knows Im his daughter. He would be very embarrassed. Mom does not want that. My husband still works too, and we can't afford a nurse to live with us 24/7, so we had no choice. Mom goes over to be with him 5 days a week, and my sister and I see him twice a week, and our husbands too. My niece works there as well as an RN. That is a real plus.

He is totally healthy otherwise. He could not walk at all at the end of his 7th year with it. The walking was a gradual decline with a weak gate, then the walker, then falling once in a while, then one day he just could not stand anymore. Not a thing you can do about it. During the 9th year he became fully incontinent. He speaks very little now but when he does on rare occasions, he has said up to 6 words in a row with full meaning. He can still read aloud with some coaxing, and is fully aware of understanding us when we talk to him. He does not converse though. If we ask him something like 'do you want a glass of water" he will shake his head yes or no and sometimes he will say it. He still remembers my sister and I and our mother by name most of the time, but that is all. He can sit up in a wheelchair but can't sit up on his own. He has to be placed into it. He eats real well, sometimes on his own and sometimes he has to be fed. He takes over an hour to eat a full meal. He has to have full care with showers, getting dressed, and the like.

He used to be super athletic, the outdoorsman, extremelly attractive man, an active senior citizen always on the go, traveling, and its so hard to see him stuck in a wheel chair. Its so very sad. He seems to be content and happy where he is, but its so hard on us. My mother is coping well, lives in her own home 10 minutes from me and my husband, and sister. We are each others support during this time of sadness. Dad is otherwise doing fine, so Im thinking he will be here a few more years even. He gets lots of attention and visits from us. We take him on strolls outside when the weather permits. He smiles, is gentle and kind, and never has outbursts or things like you hear about with the end stages. We are so very thankful for that. he sleeps well at night too.

What a hard disease to deal with. I am sad every day, and I am not the same. I probably never will be. We are a very very close family, and this is so hard. I cried everyday the first 1 and 1/2 yrs he was in the nursing home. I missed him being with mom, and knowing he was over there in his own little room alone at night. It is however a first class care center that has lots of activities, and entertainment, parties and such. We are so thankful for that.

Our strength comes from each other, and our God. We cherish each and every day we have with him. He still smiles a lot, and has some of his funny personality that shines through still that is priceless. I pray all the time that he does not forget out mother. That alone would be a miracle, but then again, miracles do happen.

 
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Old 01-10-2013, 03:12 PM   #2
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Re: Stage 7 Alzheimers...My Dad

The whole process sounds like my late FIL who died of severe stage of Alzheimer's.
He was 91 in severe stage when he died. Your Dad is younger. Alzheimer's is such a terrible disease. It is good that Dad is content. My late FIL was also in a wheelchair and he could no longer talk last year when he died. The whole thing went downhill pretty bad in a year and half when he hit severe stage. Before that, he had had 6 years of early/moderate stages and was able to talk a lot and etc.
In the end, I think my late FIL still remembered his late wife and my husband. He was familiar with me but often he was surprised and glad to see me. Familiar is the key. It will never go away if the family like you and Mom always go see him and be with him. It is true that the patient doesn't really remember all the details like your birthday or his own wedding and how many kids... But he is familiar with his close caregiver such as your Mom. It is sad indeed to see Dad goes downhill from a great guy. My late FIL was a successful emeritus professor and in the end, he remembered his own status but didn't know the details.
I personally believe that your Dad will always know your Mom in his heart. He may not be able to express the truth but he knows your Mom and you and the family love him. My late FIL never forgot to express that he loved my husband either by saying it or by smiling at my husband.
Please feel at peace that Dad is content.

Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 01-10-2013 at 03:13 PM.

 
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:51 PM   #3
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Re: Stage 7 Alzheimers...My Dad

Katinaz... welcome to the board. Sorry you needed to find us but glad that you did find us. Thank you for sharing your story of your father with us.

You have so very much to be thankful for. It sounds as if your family has stuck together through this disease. Your Mom was able to care for your Dad for a long time. You have him in a good facility where he is being cared for by the staff with love from his family. Your father is content which is a blessing.

One thing I will say to you is to dry your tears and treasure every day you have with your Dad. Spend time with him and embrace what he can do, not what has been lost. Be thankful that he is content, maintaining so much of his cognition, and that you can bring a smile to his face. It matters not if he can walk, talk, or be who he was. He is who he is now and love still holds you together. Find laughter and smiles to share with him.

My Mom passed away on New Years Eve. She had not been able to communicate with me in almost 4 years. I have not heard her say my name in at least a year. She had not been able to walk for about 6 months. She had been incontinent for 3 years. She had been in a facility for almost 6 years. But every minute of that time was precious. Her silly faces would make me laugh and she would laugh with me. I did get a smile when I arrived. She loved the outside and we spent many hours in the courtyard just enjoying each other. Yes, this is a difficult disease but please enjoy the time you have left.

Love Deb

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 12:28 AM   #4
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Re: Stage 7 Alzheimers...My Dad

I'm sorry to hear about your dad honey. My grandpa had Alzheimer's for years before grama got to where she couldn't care for him. We had to put him in a home and he went downhill fast. About a year later my grama got dementia and we had to put her in the home too. They were able to share a room. Grama was still lucid enough to be mad she had to be there but we couldn't afford a home care nurse. After about a year she went downhill, I visited daily both of them. We were very close. Grandpa passed away in the home after he got sick with phenomonia. Grama became bed ridden and mostly unresponsive after another year...she passed away in her sleep. It's always hard to leave a loved one in the nursing home but just know ill be praying for your family.
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