Hi, My dad is mid stage alzheimer's patient.
Needs help with dressing, eating, meds, etc
My new problem is that my mom (his primary care giver) has just been told
she has kidney cancer and needs the kidney removed...She is very upset, mostly about have to leave dad for a hospital stay. She does not want to deal with insurance issues etc. I am able to speak with the insurance about situation but I don't know how I am going to be able to validate that dad needs 24/7 care....It is a mess right now
The following user gives a hug of support to emmaas: scorptired (01-30-2013)
I am sorry that your Dad has Alzheimer's and that your Mom needs cancer treatment and surgery. My Dad had kidney cancer 3 years ago but he had the surgery for partial removal of one of his kidneys and now he is in remission. He is in the early 90s.
I don't know your parents' age, but it seems you need respite care for Dad. Mom is not available now to care for him, so you may consider some AL or memory unit for respite care - a temp. stay in the memory unit to be taken care of.
The issue is Mom may take a long while to recover and needs help. She cannot care for Dad intensely now. Also, a demented person should not be moved around so he is not familiar with his surroundings... Not sure what you mean by insurance issue - health care or long-term care? It is expensive to have a nursing home stay - respite or permanent.
Since your Dad is in moderate stage and will get worse, I would suggest that you start looking for a memory unit in the nursing home for Dad to stay and get used to. Such memory unit is like an assisted living except that the staff knows about dementia and the door is locked and Dad would not be aware of the lock and cannot get lost. He will be safe.
Sounds like Mom doesn't want this and there is money issue or long-term care issue?
The other alternative is, if you have money, hire a caregiver to be with Dad. But if it is 24/7 and you cannot stay around Dad, a memory unit is cheaper. Part-time caregivers at home may be OK.
Just ask the doctor to write a letter saying Dad needs daily help for activities and eating/dressing. This can prove to the court that Dad needs 24/7 care. This even helps tax deduction for nursing home or home care expenses. My late FIL had this document from the doctor every year for tax purpose.
Given the diagnosis of Alzheimer's, I am sure the insurance co. will accept it.