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Old 02-05-2013, 10:22 AM   #1
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My dad isn't right

My mom is 76 and my dad is 81 and are both living on their own. I'm the only child, so I feel that everything that affects them is up to me to try to sort out. I hadn't been out to see my parents for a couple weeks because of them being sick and me being sick, so I don't know if his illness was the trigger for how he is or he's been getting like this and I just didn't see it. A few days ago when I was at my parents' place, my dad told me that someone just broke into his house and stole some things of his.

When my mom and I had a chance to be alone, she told me (and I suspected) that he doesn't know what he's talking about. He imagines that this friend of theirs came into their house and stole these things. My mom said that my dad also is accusing her of having an affair with a friend of his, which of course she isn't.

I don't know if he's just saying this to get a reaction out of us or if he could <get out of control>. I don't know what else could be causing my dads' irrationality besides Alzheimer's/dementia.

I don't what to do, and I'm not sure what to tell my mom. I've been calling her every day now just so that she doesn't feel so alone. I asked her if I should let my dad's sister know about this, but my mom said no. I'm concerned about all of this.

Last edited by Administrator; 02-05-2013 at 06:17 PM.

 
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:10 AM   #2
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Re: My dad isn't right

It is so hard to detect dementia in the beginning. It is even harder to control the demented person in the beginning given his illusions or imagination.
I would suggest that you ask his GP for memory test referral and a specialist to do MMSE and other tests for him. It could be other conditions but only a specialist can tell.
At the same time, you need to worry about caregiving.

Usually if he is very confused, any visitor or friends can confuse him and thus he came up with the stories. Is Mom safe with him? At some point, <maybe> she should try to stay away!
You can discuss these things with his GP and see what he thinks. Talk to the GP behind Dad's back and see what the GP thinks - but do ask for MMSE test and a specialist for possible dementia diagnosis.

It depends on what his sister would do. If she will get too anxious and cannot help you guys, it is better not to tell her now until you get a diagnosis or some answer about Dad's mental health.

Take care,
Nina

Last edited by Administrator; 02-05-2013 at 06:18 PM.

 
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:31 AM   #3
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Re: My dad isn't right

Im terribly sorry. I am living with my 76 year old uncle who has been diagnosed with alzheimers/dementia. Hes mean, abusive and very forgetful. He calls my aunt <names> all the time, especially when it comes time to take his insulin since hes also a diabetic. Just the other day he went to heat up a biscuit in the microwave and he put it in there for a minute and 30 seconds and caught the biscuit on fire, the whole house reeked and black smoke was billowing out of the microwave and all my uncle could say is "whats wrong with this thing?! Why is it doing this?!"

I wish you the best of luck, just be there for your mother like you have been being, she needs you right now. Just imagine how she feels, shes watching her husband whom Im sure she loves very much slowly deteriorate and become a person she does not know. Hang in there, and my best wishes to your family.

Last edited by Administrator; 02-05-2013 at 06:18 PM.

 
Old 02-05-2013, 11:54 AM   #4
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Re: My dad isn't right

@Clovergrl and @commonnow
Sorry you two need to be going through this. Right now you need to have an extremely cool head and you **need** to prioritize. Dementia or not, your loved ones are acting delusional and aggressive.

Last edited by Administrator; 02-05-2013 at 06:19 PM.

 
Old 02-05-2013, 12:21 PM   #5
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Re: My dad isn't right

see if you can find out what meds your Dad might be taking. Some combinations of meds can cause psychosis and harmful ideations. Call his doctor/s and alert them of your concerns and I think his family members (sister) should know. Maybe they can help.

When my husband was ill with cancer and during his treatment he became delusional one night and swore someone was in our home. Thank God my son and I were able to calm him. Sadly, he passed away 6 years ago. It's not just dementia/Alzheimer's that causes unusual behavior. Take care!

Last edited by Administrator; 02-05-2013 at 06:20 PM.

 
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