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Old 05-16-2013, 09:09 AM   #1
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I gave my Mama dolls

Hello I am new. I relocated from California to Wisconsin, to take care of my mother, who I believe is in stage 6, not sure until I ask the doctor. I was able to retire at 50 years old, my sisters needed me to help out. Our mama is very aggressive, and hard to handle. My sister have children in school and they all work. So here I am along with my partner.

Everyday mama would asked me where are the kids, and I would say they are at Work, thinking she was talking about my Sisters. Then maybe I thought she was talking about her grand children. So I would say The kids are at work and your grand kids are at school. This one day she asked me where are the kids and I said at work, and she just looked at me strange. It dawn on me she is looking for her babies,(we are stair steps in age).

So I went out and bought 4 girl dolls and 1 boy baby doll, and now my Mama has purpose. She takes good care of them and it has encouraged her speech. She doesnt have many words. She wraps them in tissue paper. Its been 2 months now and she mostly just cuddles them and looks out the window. She has calm down and is not so resistant anymore.

 
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Old 05-16-2013, 05:38 PM   #2
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Re: I gave my Mama dolls

You did good Sha Many times, when they ask for something, it is something from their past. You were very in tune to realize Mom was talking about her babies. Mom ask about her babies also. I did the same thing you did. I went out and bought her a baby doll. Moon was her most important item for several years. The unit she was in actually moved the cradle and layette right outside her room door. It was where you could usually find her. I bet half the ladies in Mom's unit have their babies with them. If you know your loved one and their history, you can use that to help them be more comfortable. Good job

Love, Deb

 
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Old 05-16-2013, 05:44 PM   #3
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Re: I gave my Mama dolls

Thanks Deb, seeing my mama feeling like she belongs encouraged me, to take a class at the adult center, and it made me feel better, cause I was so depress and missing my home and life in California. Now I just miss my home and I know I will return. I just want to be here for my family. One day at a time.

 
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Old 05-16-2013, 06:37 PM   #4
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Re: I gave my Mama dolls

Exactly Shay! Knowledge is power! The more you know and understand the better you will handle what you are given. Also, your thoughts will do much to make it better. Please know that it does not last forever and you will go back to your life. From Dad's diagnosis to Mom's death, it was about 15 years for me. But I am now finding that life again and I will forever be grateful that I had the opportunity to do what needed to be done for my parents in their time of need. I can also tell you that you will find a new relationship with your Mom which is closer than before. It is a positive I found in being their care giver. It's hard work. When you are done you will have more confidence and strength than you know now. If you can do this, survive dementia care giving, you can do anything!

Love, deb

 
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Old 05-19-2013, 04:01 AM   #5
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Re: I gave my Mama dolls

My mom loved her baby dolls until she no longer related to them. She worried about who was watching them if she left her room. She loved children and would see them and talk to them until the very end of her life. She died March 1, 2013 at 92. She had vascular dementia or a combination of more than one type. We went through some very trying times and being an only child, didn't know sometimes if I was going to make it. Now I miss her so much. This board meant the world to me when I was trying to understand how to handle the problems of this terrible disease. I learned soon enough not to argue with them unless danger was involved. You can and will do more than you ever thought you could.

 
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Old 05-20-2013, 08:26 AM   #6
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Re: I gave my Mama dolls

You are doing the right thing. The dolls are her kids when the kids are infants. You guys are too old now for her.

I have seen in the nursing home that some old ladies are holding a baby doll. They think it is real. Sometimes the residents tease them for the dolls. But the ladies calm down with the dolls. Some have stuffed animal (I imagine some ladies never had kids.)
It is so true. My late FIL with Alzheimer's had lived for 8 years in his work fantasy. I guess it is similar. They need some fantasy for the past because they no longer understand the present.
Hope your Mom will like the dolls for a long while.

Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 05-20-2013 at 08:28 AM.

 
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Old 05-20-2013, 08:53 AM   #7
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Re: I gave my Mama dolls

I also wanted to add that my late FIL once asked about a baby overnight. The caregiver told him there was no baby. My late FIL used to work in the ER. Also his son was upstairs at that time. Now I think he was probably looking for my husband but he thought it was a baby crying in need. It was not a dream. I think he was confused with his baby son and adult son.

Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 05-20-2013 at 09:03 AM.

 
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