new healthcare provider - Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) Message Board

ericaw · 05-19-2005, 03:44 PM

my mom was a in home care nurse and she has been passed for almost 3 years,I never thought it would be for me but my neihbor has been sick for 5 months and everyone thought it was a stroke.but monday5-18-05 she was dianosed with als.she is very young 56 and fiesty and stubborn.while I have been doing for her this long and now I don't know if I can handle it with all the post I have read.I am a regular on the panick attack board and finding out the news has sent me in a tailspin.should I bow out or stick in there.I love her and that is what is hard and she reminds me of my mom and another death it too hard too deal with.how do I handle it,she is mad.I know not at me but she needs someone to take it out on.what do I do,how do I start to care for her different.

Serenityz_Fire · 06-03-2005, 02:43 AM

Hi Erica

It must be really hard for you to help someone who has been diagnosed with such an awful disease when you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks. It must be harder for you considering you are a Nurse with these emotions. Whether or not you can mentally and emotionally handle it is up to you and your take on the situation. It is hard to reply to questions like these because they take a lot of inner focus. We don't know you personally so it's quite difficult. The only opinion I can offer is that you need to make sure your own Health is not affected. Being a Nurse, you need to take care of yourself first in order to help others later. To "bow out or stick in" is a dilemna between Heart & Mind. This has been a question in many different aspects of life and the answer is within you. Weigh out the pros and the cons. She is most likely not angry with you, more at the disease and inability to be indeprendent and function on her own. Your Health is very important but so is your heart. These questions are ones you have to ask yourself. I'm sorry to not be of more help. Good Luck and Take care of yourself. *Holly*

ericaw · 06-03-2005, 10:44 AM

THANK YOU HOLLY! I UNDERSTAND ALL YOU SAID BUT i LOVE HER AND WANT TO TAKE CARE OF HER,BUT AT THE SAME TIME I SAW ON THE WEB SOMEONE WITH ALS WITH A BREATHING MACHINE AND IT SENT ME IN A TAILSPIN.FEEDING TUBE ICAN DEAL WITH BUT THE BREATHING TUBE IS AWFUL.I AM GONNA DO THIS AS LONG AS I CAN BUT WHEN IT GETS TOO HARD FOR ME I WILL KNOW AND LET OTHER PROFESSINALS TAKE OVER.SHE HAS FALLEN ALOT SHE IS TRYING TO BE INDEPENDENT AND SHE IS KIND OF SCARING ME.ANY OTHER INPUT YOU HAVE I WOULD APPRECIATE IT.

Serenityz_Fire · 06-03-2005, 11:41 AM

Hi Erica,

You are most welcome. I have a few questions though to get a better picture of the situation if you don't mind. Do you live with this woman? Is there anyone else that assists in caring for her? Does she have family/friends around for support? I understand that you love her and want to support her that is completely understandable. The best you can do is to do what you can as you stated. If it gets to be too much then let someone else take over. I know you want what is best for her and if you come to the point where you feel you can no longer handle it, I personally feel you would be better off for both of your benefits. People with ALS do tend to fall a lot. I myself fall quite frequently and I too am very independent and short-tempered. You need to know it is not personal. It's a battle she is fighting within herself and sometimes people do tend to lash out due to the frustration. I'm sure she is very appreciative of all that you do to help her. It's a common emotion to be afraid for her and her safety. It's human. You are allowed to have emotions. I wish you and your friend the best. You both are in my prayers. *Holly*

ericaw · 06-03-2005, 08:21 PM

I am greatful to have an outlet.she lives downstairs from me and has done so much for everyone.she has a daughter and 8 brothers and sisters i have only met 2.i am there for her everyday when she needs me.thank you fo0r being there and i hope you get well real soon.may god be with you.