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Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) Message Board
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:02 AM   #1
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tammie1977 HB User
Unhappy The end is near & I'm not ready to say good-bye


Well things are alot worse now pretty much hang on to a thread my dad is so sick & the doc's say he does not have much time left he can no longer speak he is so small & his heart is broken I see how bad he wants to play & hold my 22 month old daughter is only grandchild he loves her so much and she adores him My heart hurts i can't say good bye i love him so much i just don't understand this, & my mom is amazing she has kept dad at home this entire time 6 year's now their love is amazing. I can't sleep night-mare's are bad & i've been having panic attacks i just don't know how to feel this can't happen we can't lose him oh this hurts so much.....I'm lost...

 
Old 05-29-2009, 03:45 AM   #2
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Re: The end is near & I'm not ready to say good-bye

Hi Tamie,
Losing a parent is one of the hardest losses, I lost both of mine four years apart. The best thing I can say is that no matter how bad I felt, I kept the best of memories at the top of my list. At first it isnt possible, only grieving is at the top. But in time those feelings turn to pure loving thoughts, no matter what anyone tells you, you have to handle this in your own special way. We all handle loss diferently. I never held it back for anyone, and if I needed to cry where ever I was, I did. You have to be kind to yourself also, you are aloud to sit on the pity pot and feel terrible, but from experience, it really dosnt last too long, and before you know it, the pity pot is visited less often. Love your dad as much as you can while he is still with you and your family. He will love you back for it a million times over. Right now it is hard to see the forest from the trees, but it just takes time sweetie. And you dont have to be strong for anyone, just be you, thats very important. I wish I was close enough to give you a big hug and be able to talk to you in person, you are grieving before your dad has gone and that in itself is hard to bare. I do know how you feel, but we all feel in a different way.


Try to hang in there and know you are being thought of very much.
Lots of warm hugs, ((((tammie))))

Anna1959

 
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Old 05-29-2009, 07:44 AM   #3
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baby dolly HB User
Re: The end is near & I'm not ready to say good-bye

I agree with Anna Tammie and you are doing the right thing by expressing your fears and sorrow on this post. By writing it and reading it back helps you to process what you are feeling. I agree also with Anna in loosing a parent. It is so difficult. I know you have, because you express your love so much for your Dad, but just whisper to him how much you love him and if you believe in life after death you will see him again. Now turn to your Mom, and even though she seems like she is a strong woman, she is hurting too and needs your support. Together talk about the happy times and make a little book of pictures for your daughter and write in it how much her grandpa loves her. God be near you during this difficult time.....

 
Old 05-31-2009, 03:40 AM   #4
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vh90453 HB User
Re: The end is near & I'm not ready to say good-bye

I feel very sad for you and your family. God bless.

 
Old 06-12-2009, 05:06 PM   #5
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juniper5 HB User
Re: The end is near & I'm not ready to say good-bye

Quote:
Originally Posted by tammie1977 View Post

Well things are alot worse now pretty much hang on to a thread my dad is so sick & the doc's say he does not have much time left he can no longer speak he is so small & his heart is broken I see how bad he wants to play & hold my 22 month old daughter is only grandchild he loves her so much and she adores him My heart hurts i can't say good bye i love him so much i just don't understand this, & my mom is amazing she has kept dad at home this entire time 6 year's now their love is amazing. I can't sleep night-mare's are bad & i've been having panic attacks i just don't know how to feel this can't happen we can't lose him oh this hurts so much.....I'm lost...
When my father passed away from ALS in sept of '04 my whole world was turned upside down. It actually still is upside down to be honest. I remember toward the end of his life his whole family was there to say goodbye. It was the worst day of my entire life. There is never any good way to say goodbye. Just make sure that he knows that you love him and be there with him till it is time for him to pass. I feel your pain and can remember his last day like it was just yesterday. My advice is to cry when you need to, get angry if you have it and express yourself. My thoughts are with you.

 
Old 06-14-2009, 11:50 AM   #6
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baby dolly HB User
Re: The end is near & I'm not ready to say good-bye

I feel you are hurting, but you would not want your Dad to remain like this to stay with you. Where he goes will be no pain, he can run, and not be bed bound anymore. I know your love for him you would want that. And when it comes your time, which it does for all of us, you will see him again and can hug him all you want, and never have to be seperated. Be at peace with this so you can let him go, just for a little while. His memories you hold so dear to your heart will keep you until you can reunite again.

 
Old 11-05-2009, 04:20 AM   #7
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ronkster HB User
Re: The end is near & I'm not ready to say good-bye

Quote:
Originally Posted by baby dolly View Post
I feel you are hurting, but you would not want your Dad to remain like this to stay with you. Where he goes will be no pain, he can run, and not be bed bound anymore. I know your love for him you would want that. And when it comes your time, which it does for all of us, you will see him again and can hug him all you want, and never have to be seperated. Be at peace with this so you can let him go, just for a little while. His memories you hold so dear to your heart will keep you until you can reunite again.
I can agree..but also feel your pain. my mother is suffering at 62 yrs i see in her eyes she wants to play with my kids, 2 & 4 only grandchildren as well. I dont know how much time she has but since february she has progressed greatly. A prisoner in her own body..heart wrenching. when the time comes mourn as you should but remember your father loves you and he is always there keeping you safe...and know that he like my mom im sure dosent want to live like this .

 
Old 05-01-2010, 02:07 PM   #8
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Re: The end is near & I'm not ready to say good-bye

I just want to say my heart goes out to you. I lost my dad almost 7 years ago...ALS and Picks Disease...it was awful to deal with. At the time he passed, I had a 3 week old son.

All I can say is take lots of pictures of your child and your father, they will be great to look at later. And hug your dad as often as possible. You'll wanna remember that smell and that feeling for the rest of your life.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's great you have your mom with you, this will truly be a bonding experience where you both will need each other.

 
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