New Here-Had Aortic aneurysm & valve replacement - Aneurysm Message Board

catjump · 03-11-2008, 11:15 PM

Hi all, had this surgery 8 weeks ago and seem to need to talk to others who have had open heart surgery, seem to be doing ok physically but am on an emotional roller coaster...hard to stay focused on tasks (I'm 58 yr. and work at home). Am I posting at the right type of place?
Thanks, Cathy

Mileena42 · 03-12-2008, 04:44 AM

Hi Cathy,

Sorry you are going through a rough time. You will find only a handful of people here who have had valve replacement. I came here looking for that myself a few years ago. I havent had my surgery yet. It will probably be 3 or 4 years ahead of me.

But just because I havent been through it, doesnt mean I dont want to listen to your problems. From what I have heard on here and read, it seems to be pretty normal to be emotional after open heart.

Do you feel like you are healing well or fast enough? Have you asked your doctor about the emotional side of what you are going through? Are you willing to take medication for that, short term?

The thought of my looming surgery scares me beyond belief. Most of the time, I just try to pretend I am fine, and not think about it.

I hope you have a speedy recover, and maybe others who have already gone through this will help you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Mileena

savv55 · 03-13-2008, 12:31 AM

Cathy: My husband had open heart surgery for a quadruple bypass at the end of November. He too did fine physically after the surgery but has had a tough time emotionally. He cries easily and unexpectedly and doesn't understand it himself. He is 52 and was in excellent physical condition, under weight, didn't smoke or drink and ate healthier than 95% of people - the extent of his artery blockages was shocking to everyone including the doctor doing the angiogram who thought his cardiologist was crazy for refering him for one! So, my husband struggles with "what he did wrong" to bring this upon himself, though that is not the only reason he is emotional. He is about 14 weeks now past his surgery and has returned to work part time. His emotions are definitely improving. I spent my time 24/7 with him since he went in hospital until he went back to work last week so I have observed each stage of his recovery.

You say you work at home which must be difficult. It will be important to get out and socialize with people and tell them what you have been through. It seems to help.

If you want to share more of what you are experiencing emotionally I will try to provide you with some support (through my husband's experience). He was told at the hospital to expect to experience more emotion and even some depression after surgery. It is completely normal but if it is affecting your quality of life badly do try to get some help from your doctor.

All the best
Shirley

catjump · 03-13-2008, 10:30 PM

Thank you so much for your info! Everyone here at home and my friends have been pretty supportive but no one has actually gone thru this themselves. And it is hard to talk about it to others because I, too, cry easily and for unknown reasons and I hate to seem like a 'winer' or something and it does make people uncomfortable, especially when you can't explain why you are so emotional. My husband and I run a trucking and heavy equipment business and I am the office so have been slowly coming back to work as the need for pain meds has dropped off and my head has cleared enough to think and do some work. This alone has caused major stress as I am so far behind so I make myself complete a certain amount of tasks per day...try, anyway! I just felt like it would help to talk to someone else that's been thru this and how it's working out for them. How is your husband doing now? I'm 8 weeks out of surgery.

savv55 · 03-13-2008, 11:14 PM

Hi Cathy: My husband is doing well now and hasn't had the emotional reactions for a week or two now though he says he is close sometimes. Yesterday we were walking and he was saying how lucky is was to be alive and have a second chance. I think heart surgery has such a profound affect on people because you know you only have one heart and when repairs need to be done - there is no back up plan. There was such tremendous worry prior to the surgery that all would go well but that little thought behind it all that it is major and things happen. Then when you wake up and find that all is okay there is great relief it is over, overwhelming gratitude to those who helped you (surgeon, nursing team), and the support of all of your family and friends that called, emailed and wished you well. It can all be overwhelming after this surgery. There is a long road back to health as well and some weeks are worse than others. When we first started our walking program after the surgery, my husband would walk for awhile then just sit down on a bench and cry for a few minutes. I would just hold him and then we would walk on.

He started back to work on 1/2 days last week and goes to the hospital twice a week for a rehabilitation program (supervised exercise). He was pretty exhausted by the end of his four days of work and quite down on the next day as he felt disappointed that he didn't feel stronger. The next day he was fine and this week was better than last. Next week he goes to full days so I expect he may find that another tough week. It all takes time but it will get better we are told.

Cathy, my Mom had a triple bypass and a valve replacement at 80 years of age. She took a long time to recover but she did and is still living today and will be 88 in June. My Mom told my husband throughout this that if she could do it, he could do it. This always made him smile! Don't be hard on yourself for being emotional - it needs to come out so let it out.

I'll check here again to see if you want to share again.

Shirley