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Old 11-19-2002, 04:20 PM   #1
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Post Need tips for controlling angry outbursts at my children

I have two young children and one more on the way. I have in the past had problems with controlling my temper when it comes to my kids. I'm worried that my anger will go too far and something will happen that I will regret...

 
Old 11-21-2002, 02:30 PM   #2
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The only thing I can tell you is that just today I was watching Dr. Phil and your problem was the topic of his show. I am sure he must have a website or something, i wish you the best of luck.......

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Old 12-15-2002, 04:27 PM   #3
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those are your babies your life dont you just stare at them when they are sleeping( i do all the time) they didnt ask to be here . they are just learning they are not trying to make you upset if they are they just want your love just remember your kids are the one ones who will love you uncondionally so dont lose your temper on them if you are annoyed just step back and count or go into your room cool off cause what ever choices you make you have to live with and you hurt one of your kids they have to deal with that for the rest of there life my mom didnt want me to hug her when i was 5 years old and we were at the top of the stairs she pushed me off her and i fell down the stairs my leg went all the way to my head it was a memory i have blocked for years but a couple of years i had that just pop up i guess a mental block i judt cryed, screamed out my mom doesnt love me so just be good to your babies they will be there for you when no one is .

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Old 01-24-2003, 10:48 AM   #4
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Shmolissa:

Keep it in mind that they are just children, not little adults.
You are God to them, the best thing that ever happened to them, in THEIR minds.

If you react in anger, they will respond to anger, not even putting it together that their own behaviour may have been wrong. They will only see your rage.

If you want to train them to be self controlled, YOU must first model self-control. If you are flipping out, they learn to flip out. They will learn to get what THEY want with rage.

Realizing this helped me a great deal. Perhaps it will help you, to. Relax, all the things that seem so important will not be important to you at all when you are 80.
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Old 02-12-2003, 05:50 PM   #5
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Shmolissa

Some places you may find help are your local Health Department, or a child welface agency. Remember they are there to help families stay together in a healthy nurturing environment.
Good luck!

 
Old 03-08-2003, 10:38 PM   #6
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Whenever you get upset at your kids, try this: think about the saddest thing that you can, for example; the war, a sad memory or event, even the death of a loved one. This will make you realize that there are so many things that you have a right to be angry and upset about, but one of them is not what your child did. Why add pain to your life as well as theirs, with anger? Your kids will face disapointments and sorrow in their life, just as you and i have, so why make it worse for you all? Protect your kids as much as you can, while you can. Kids are innocent, but we, as adults, are not. At least you are trying to find a way to express yourself in a calmer fashion by seeking help, and I commend you on that. Please keep us posted on your situation.

 
Old 03-27-2003, 03:27 AM   #7
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My husband has anger outbursts. It came to a head this week. He went out and got a book at the library about anger. He's been reading it and it's almost a relief to him to be able to find answers and helpful guidelines on what causes it (inner emotions) and how to recognize it and "safely" unload it......

He's apologized to all of us who have gotten in his "crossfire" these last 16 years. I pray this is the answer for him, since he is a WONDERFUL person, despite himself sometimes!

~northernlights~

 
Old 03-31-2003, 04:24 PM   #8
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schmolissa,
hi, i just wanted to reply. i can totally relate to you. i have recently been on edge with my children (although its not their fault) but my patience level has decreased and i find myself getting annoyed very easily. my children and i are very close, and sometimes i just sit and stare at them thanking God for such perfect angels, and in the same breath i'll sit and cry thinking about something that happened that day that made me mad. my children are my world, and the pain i feel from knowing i've yelled at them or got frustrated with them over something simple just kills me. sometimes i feel like the worst mother in the world, and wonder if they'd be better off without me, but at the same time i cannot picture my life without them. it would be easy for me to sit here and tell you its not right to do it, and don't do it again, but in all actuality i'd be a hypocrite to say it. yes, i do know its not right, and it shouldn't be done.... and for me its not something i intentionally do (as i'm sure is the same as your situation). by the time i realize how upset i am, i've already sent my kids to their rooms. i don't know what made me start feeling this way, and i don't know how to stop it. i have tried, but since i don't know what is wrong with me in the first place, i have no clue what to do to fix it. i wish you alot of luck, and hope you are able to find help for it. i finally have me a counceling appointment tomorrow, so i'm hoping i can finally find out whats happened to me, and get it fixed. take care of yourself, and give your babies a big hug. God bless!

 
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