I try and analyze my behavior. How can I be so Happy and then get so Blah. I try and understand why I feel this way, I have No excuse. I have a great Husband, a great job, wonderful friends and a loving family. so I ask myself, why do I get angry and blow up for no apparent reason. I lost my Mother at 18 and my Dad when I was 25. I miss them both very much and often wonder if I supress my missing them and it comes out in anger.
I don't know why I feel like I do but it needs to stop! I am thinking about seeking help, but I don't know if it will be worth it. Has anyone out there ever experienced this behavior, and if so did you fix it and how it was fixed....any feed back would be greatly appreciated.
Been there myself! And getting help did work. When your parents are gone like yours are it's hard, my mother is still alive but I lost my father at an early age. It's a part of you that you will always wish you had time. Let yourself honestly feel the loss, don't push it away, or it will always return. Tell someone else you are working on this and what it is that you go through while doing this excersise of grief. Is your husband good at bouncing things like this off of? You need to work on it, and have someone to listen to your healing process. Sometimes by just pushing it away will make you hurt that much more, but embrasing the feeling of loss and dealing with it is so much more healing. Alot of pretending goes into an excersise like this....Maybe you feel mad that they were taken away from you. Address the feelings you have with these issues. Lonliness, anger, disappointment, abandonment, you name what you feel....and remember to put it all on paper, that works even though you think it's silly. Keep a journal, that I think helped me the most! You have to own what you feel, don't shove it away, write it down, it's an important part of healing because it's something you feel. Happiness isn't an all the time thing, but snatches of it will come eventually. Come on here and talk it out, help will come when you seek it most. Diana
hi wandawoman. i just wanted to let you know i totally understand where you're coming from. although i do still have my mom, my dad died when i was 12. i miss him dearly! i have recently started having bad anger spells, to the point where 90 percent of them are violent. i do not know where it came from, i used to be a very mellow person.... took alot to get on my bad side, but now all someone has to do is look at me wrong and i snap. i hate who i've become, yet at the same time, i can't control it. it hits me before i have a chance to realize it, and when it hits, it takes over. i have just recently went in for counceling, my next appointment is on the 16th, but this past appointment my councelor said she was putting me into anger management classes. it ****** me off at first, but deep down i guess i know she's right.... i do need them. my actual "therapy" starts on the 16th, and shortly after that i will start my anger management. i'm hoping it will work, and i'm hoping they will find the root of the problem. i have no clue what made me so mean and hateful, but it happened, and it came quick. i would suggest councelling, if nothing else to help you understand what is going on with you.... thats what i'm hoping will happen with mine. hopefully we can fix whatever my problem is..... i'm praying so, anyway. good luck and i wish you the very best. God bless!
Thanks for your replies. I am considering going for help. My husband is Wonderful, knows when I'm like this to walk away and then when I'm in a good mood we discuss my actions. I guess the best thing is that I am aware of how I act and don't want to lose him over this. As for talking about it, I have wonderful friends that I do vent to, but sometimes they feel sorry for me and I HATE that with a passion. it is hard for me to tell them because their listening to what I'm saying and then their so sympatatic, which I understand but I just want to vent, does that make sense. anyway, I had a bad night last night, but we talked through it and it turned out ok, and then I dreamt of TIM MCGRAW needless to say I am very happy today..Lol. but I will be back to talk about my progress and I hope to see how things work our for you as well. take care.
Not angry anymore!!! I always wondered if I was the meanest person in the world. I could not control my tongue. Whatever I thought would just come out of my mouth. Then I heard this girl talking about her doctor putting her on a drug for anxiety. I went to my doctor and she put me on wellbutrin. It is an antidepressent. I never thought that an antidepressent would work because I wasn't sad or had the other symptoms of depression. However, I was on wellbutrin for 3 years. The first thing I noticed was that I could stop myself from saying nasty things. I didn't start arguments anymore. I thought this is great. It increased my sex drive a lot. Well, after 3 years it stopped working and I could tell that I needed something else. I'm now on Lexapro and I feel like anyone could spit on me and I would just turn my cheek. It's great to feel normal. I regret not finding it until 16 years of my marriage had gone by. We could have been having so much fun. Do something today. Call your doctor. It works.