why?? - Anger Management Message Board

GiMMiE BiG MaC · 05-27-2003, 09:02 PM

why do people have have anger problems? i mean is it something your born with or do u develope it or what? and how can u help get rid of it?

painintheneck2 · 05-28-2003, 04:43 PM

It is a learned behavior. Either you were abused as a child saw abuse growing up. Anger is not given it is taught. So sometime in your life you were taught to solve things through anger. In order to get rid of it, you need to educate yourself about it. Either take classes which can be expensive or, my suggestion, go get Dr. Phil's book. Can't remember the name, but he has one on anger. His books are very good.

Most anger is derived from a control issue and losing control is usually what triggers your anger bursts. If you can get to the root of your control issues then you can manage you anger.

Good luck!
Wendee

Esperanza · 06-05-2003, 01:06 AM

I am sorry to disagree, but anger is not necessarily a learned behavior. Anger is reactive to something - usually being hurt and an inability to be able to do something about it.
There is nothing wrong with occasional anger outbursts, assuming they do not physically or intentionally cause harm to others.
I am a proponent that how we handle anger MAY be learned, but being angry is a very human feeling and normal. I also believe that some of us have a pre-disposition to having a shorter "string" - my dad was this way and so was my grandfather (I was not raised by either).

chazygirl · 06-05-2003, 06:13 AM

Thanks experanza--exactly. One if the great falicies that we are taught is that anger is bad. Anger obviously wants something and as far as you run fromit, it will always be right behind you getting bigger and bigger with each injustice. Turn around and ask your anger what it wants. It wants something--then intentionalize it with something nonabusive. Aggression is similar. There are times when we need to be aggressive, just like anger--like when we are in danger and with any real enemy out there where we are in serious trouble. Don't peace and love that--dump the anger there. MEanwhile, just find out what yur anger wants. You may find it saying alot and if its too much, get a good psychotherapist.

LaraJean · 06-10-2003, 05:07 AM

I think it has many factors. Including tollerance to situations, Growing up, chemical imbalance, or "just your nature". Anger is not a bad problem unless you can not control it. I also think that people who are also put down for having nager problems get worse. So I can even see it being due to "enviromental" issues.