any other in-law haters? - Anger Management Message Board

2manypills · 09-15-2003, 08:40 PM

does anyone have any advice for me in dealing with my inlaws that i completly hate?i have been with my husband for 14 years and cant remember a time that i didnt feel discusted to be around them and i dont see any improvement in the future,unless i get some advice.and i also really dislike my sister-in-law and her husband.if any one has any insight i can fill in the details....thanks

09-15-2003, 11:19 PM

Why do you hate them so much? I mean.. is there a reason or do your personalities just kind of clash?

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~*~ Kristy ~*~

2manypills · 09-16-2003, 06:27 AM

our personalities do clash,but also thier extremly judgemental and critical of everything.they nit pick all the little issues and never ever acknowledge anything positive.and with my husband and his sister the parents always created compition between them(for attention,acceptance, money,love).i feel like we shouldnt need to work so hard to be considered worthy or good enough.

09-16-2003, 12:39 PM

Youre right. You shouldnt have to work hard to feel accepted and loved by family. Im guessing your husband doesnt have the greatest relationship with them either? Listen, just dont let them get to you. Remember when you were a kid if someone said something to you and you told on them what would parents and teachers respond with? Well I dont know what they told you but their response to me was pretty much "ignore it" Sounds stupid and trivial but hey it works. If you have to try so hard to feel accepted around them then they obviously arent even worth the trouble. Just ignore their rude comments as much as you can. If they say something you dont like just dont respond to it at all. In your mind think of something humorous like a funny song, situation or joke. That should help take away some of the stress and anger of the situation. If they keep talking to you when you dont respond try changing the subject to something that wont cause any confrentation or you can even try giving a compliment. Kill them with kindness. The meaner and nastier they are to you the nicer you act towards them. Its not fair that they cant be nice back to you but obviously they have problems and you need to be the bigger person in the situation.

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~*~ Kristy ~*~

Totah · 09-26-2003, 12:38 PM

I'm having the same problem, I can't stand my wife's mother. She ruined her own life, her husband left her (quietest man i've ever known). She consistently tries to manipulate my wife to promote her interests and her views on how we should, no, HAVE TO live.
It makes me angry each time my wife speaks to her on the phone.
I don't know what to do. I can't expect my wife to cut off ties with her family. I'm freaking out really hard.

For example she's pressuring us to have kids sooner. In order to do it she starts telling about other relatives that have 2+ kids in our age and how much fun their are having. She tell stories like "Oh, btw, i saw Sam's little son, he asked me where's my unt Diana, he's so pretty."
How's that supposed to make my wife feel when is spending each minute on education and work.
Any advice?

[This message has been edited by Totah (edited 09-26-2003).]