Trouble with 8 year old - Anger Management Message Board

christyb · 10-10-2003, 02:57 PM

I have an 8 year old girl who has always been a good, she has been known to always cry over small things but recently since starting 3rd grade teacher says she seems to not want to focus. She has had two altercations with other students since school started that turned physical. When I am correcting her she seems to stare through me, and seems as if she is justified in her behavior. I am not sure where to start or if this is normal part of growing up, no one in our house ever resorts to physical violence nor has our other child ever been this way? I don't want to rush her in to a doc's office if there is something going on at school that I am not aware of nor do I know how much time I should give her to see if this is a phase. At home she isn't having any discipline problems she has been slacking off on cleaning her room and thats about it but when I correct her about something that has happened at school she just gets so mad. Does anyone have any advice??????

* Free ~ Spirit * · 10-12-2003, 04:16 PM

Talk to your daughter. Listen to her carefully and try to figure out if there is something going on at school. Ask her direct questions about her behavior if she doesnt give a sufficiant answer try asking her in less obvious ways.

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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Ben There · 10-12-2003, 11:06 PM

Loved Free Spirit's advice (and signature) !!!

It takes a lot for anyone (children included) to relax and trust enough to share what is bothering them (assuming they are even consciously aware of it). Personally, I'd try to create a relaxed environment - disassociated from ANY connection to the "issue" at hand... Then, when you feel your daughter might feel comfortable and "safe" - gently wrangle the discussion towards her feelings ~ with luck she'll start to open up... These things can seldom be forced...

I hope that helps !!! ~ Ben There

*Pook* · 11-03-2003, 04:38 AM

Hi -
I have similar problems with my eight year old son, and a friend with similar in a ten year old daughter. Both of whom we have discovered have started puberty at an early age (well for my son it's a bit early at 8). My son is like a teenager in an 8year olds body, on the one hand he is attempting to download Eminem from the internet and wanting red highlights in his hair, but then sleeps with a stuffed toy at night. This may be completely different and not the case for your daughter but something we sometimes overlook, hormones can be tricky. (I think parents need a degree in psychology!!).

My son has also been teased at school recently, often saving up his anger until he gets home and taking it out on us. I have found by talking in 'third person' to him it helps (eg: I was talking to my friend and she said her daughter was being teased at school today, gee she must be feeling sad) that sort of thing, sometimes it works other times it doesn't.

Best of luck to you and your daughter,

*Pook*