I have turned evil! help me please need advice - Anger Management Message Board

Kc1985 · 04-17-2005, 10:31 PM

Ok, where do I start first im an 18 year old female, I am generally a very angry negative person I snap at every little thing someone asks how my day was i get all ****y about it I don't kwno why Im liek this i want to change!! My biggest problem right now is my boyfreind of over a year well I guess I take alot out on him I mean every little tiny thing he does or says can **** me off and I just blow up calling him every name in the book and trying to insult him! Then later I feel so bad and i regret it i mean i really love him and I dont want to treat him like this and it seems liek an lmost daily thing I do to him! So now he always says stuff like oh am i gonna get b*tched at today an dthings like that, but also he really buries his emotions and feelings and I think that is part of the reason why I go off I wish he would show he cares more and I do tell him this but he just clams up and I think because of that I try and say stuff abotu him just so he will show some sort of emotion!! And everytime i yell at him and call him names and apologize later he always goes oh "forget about it" I mean gosh he really avoids confrontation Im lucky he is so patient with me though but does anyoen hav eany advice at all for me!! I told him i am going to try realyl hard to change this and be nice but that he has to learn not to clam up and not show how he feels and things like that.Any advice at all is welcome!

Drewtn · 04-18-2005, 09:57 AM

Can you tell where your anger is coming from?? You said it is with everyone not just your boyfriend right??

There were a couple things that contributed to my anger.

Frustration
Stress
Anxiety

I didn’t realize I was angry from things that had happened in the past. It’s amazing what you find when you get to the source. Mine were things that I had no clue I was still angry about!!

Kc1985 · 04-18-2005, 10:41 AM

I get angry with family mostly but my boyfreind is the mainvictim lol he brings it out more than anyoen Im really paranoid and that doesnt help I have all those stress about tons of things I am frustrated because of that and that causes anxiety!! ahh I cant win

hillaryb · 04-18-2005, 10:49 AM

While there are many causes of anger, for me it was mainly fear and depression. Take it from me, if you do not find a way to manage your anger, you will not have a boyfriend much longer. My husband almost left me due to my anger. He quietly withdrew from me and eventually left. We separated briefly, but were fortunate enough to work things out. I got ahold on my anger, and it feels really good not to wake up every morning seething. I recently heard someone say that anger shows great weakness--those of us who have experienced long-term anger can probably agree with that statement. I hope that you can find the source of your anger and find a healthy outlet. If you continue to be this way, you will never be at peace. Good luck! Wish I could have offered you more help.

Kc1985 · 04-18-2005, 12:43 PM

Yea he said to me the other day he wotn talk to me if i keep treatign him liek this so I told him to give me another chance, I knwo i can get this under control. But with me workign on controllign my anger I told him he also has to work on showing he cares a little bit more and things like that, Since he said that I havent had any outbursts at him Ive been nice and doing things for him I wrote a big long apology in a letter to give him and Im just tryen hard to controll it I havent neccisarily wanted to yell at him YET though. Sure we will probably still fight when its unavoidable but I am tryen to pick things out now that are maken me be such a beyotch.lol... the whoel anger shows great weakness is definetly true I get excessively angry with him over jealousy issues and things like that and jealousy is a major weakness of mine for sure thats on the top 10