need help managing anger
I'm a 28 year old, stay at home mom to 2 boys (3, and 18 months). My oldest has special needs as well (developmental delays, apraxia, sensory integration dysfunction, possible PDD-NOS), and I babysit my niece's daughter (11 months). Lately, it seems like I have no patience. I find myself screaming at the kids, and honestly -being a little too rough. Like -if I need to take one of the boys to time out, I pull them by the arm a little too hard, and sit them down a little hard. I tend to swear way too much when I'm angry as well. I don't want to react this way, but it seems to spiral into a rage before I can stop it. I can feel my jaw clench and I just want to hit something. Do you have any suggestions on what I can do to manage these reactions? I don't want to be an angry, mean mom and I'm afraid that's happening all too quickly. I do find that when I'm well rested, I deal a bit better -but with three under three -rest is rare. I also find that one of my biggest triggers is noise -the whining or crying. I just want to make it stop by any means necessary. I'd appreciate any ideas or help you can give me. I really want to get this under control.