Hi all...this is my first post, this looks like a great site!
My question is a little complicated...but here goes.
My 9 yr old has some serious frustration issues. He has somewhat high expectations in new situations...like he wants everything to be easy and just 'come' to him. When things dont work out...he gets mad. And I mean mad on a dime. He can go from being fine, to one little thing getting under his skin and he is furious.
Hubby had anger management classes as a child for dealing with anger and how to get it under control. My son seems to respond fairly well when talking with hubby....but when I do the same things he doesnt respond as well.
It seems like he needs something diff. from me than he does from his dad. I have a tendancy to be very short tempered, and feel that some of the things he gets so worked up about, he should be able to cope with on his own. (we are talking majorly simple issues here...like breaking a shoestring, or messing up when painting a pic that is just for fun).
He usually starts to cry, but then immediately gets mad. The anger seems to build up, he begins to yell, shake his body, stomp & throw fists at things.
I am at a loss as to how to deal with his anger. I am aware that it is not really anger, but how he deals with rejection, failure, dissapointment, etc....but I need to know what to do. And I wonder why in simple situations he takes everything so seriously...and then demonstrates that in rage. Because it does seem more like rage than anger to me.
And in turn I have really been working on my reactions to him when he starts up, and trying to find the underlying cause of the anger. He does not seem to be responsive though. I am worried about some of the things he has said to me, that he will grow to be a dangerous child...he has made some startling comments that really could be dangerous. Help!
Thanks for reading my long post and offering any advice that you may have!