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Phoenix 09-24-2007 12:59 AM

Anger and Forgiveness
 
Hello all,

I am new to this particular board and am wondering if someone can offer any advice for my situation.

On July 27, 2005, my life was changed forever by a motor vehicle accident that was not my fault.

To this day I have had two lumbar related surgeries and will most likely need cervical intervention.

I live in constant pain and the progression of injuries have added additional health concerns onto my plate.

This has not only affected me but also my daughter, who I have full custody of.
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I founded a non profit organization(to help students), was a super, inventor of two board games, a computer program(on paper) and test preparation kit.
Was writing a children's book and was even PTA President(had to eventually resign due to injuries); the list goes on and on.
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How do I control the anger enough to forgive the driver,"witness" and insurance company, who are all lying about the events of said accident?

The "this is business as usual" angle provides me with no comfort.

How do I manage my anger, when I feel that I have a legitimate right to feel this way?

Phoenix

Sannah 09-24-2007 11:26 AM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
Hi Ryan, it seems that the anger is tied into the loss of your ability to be productive?

Phoenix 09-24-2007 12:32 PM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
[QUOTE=Sannah;3224091]Hi Ryan, it seems that the anger is tied into the loss of your ability to be productive?[/QUOTE]

Dear Sannah,

I understand that I am not the same person that I was prior to the accident but the inability to do what came so easily is frustrating.

You know that I offer my opinions and advice here but what you don't know is even that is a task in and of itself; yet I try (sometimes I feel that I try too hard and possibly confuse a few people along the way).
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Also, I have an issue with a prominent psychotherapy center in my area.

Since I had a history of using "dual substances" I told them that part of my treatment plan could include a random urinalysis.

One of these came back positive for opiates, which I have never touched.

The psychiatrist looks at me in disbelief and says "it says what it says" and then the therapist chimes in with him.

Long story short, I was peaved and found that the culprit was an opiate derivative prescription I was taking.

I received no apology or anything, even after showing them that they were wrong, so as my trust level left, so did I.

Then I receive a letter stating that I missed too many appointments and the suggest a MICA program for me(the nerve) and ban me for two years.
---------------------------------

Ryan

Sannah 09-25-2007 11:23 AM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
[QUOTE=Phoenix1;3223283]

How do I control the anger enough to forgive the driver,"witness" and insurance company, who are all lying about the events of said accident?

The "this is business as usual" angle provides me with no comfort.

How do I manage my anger, when I feel that I have a legitimate right to feel this way? [/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Phoenix1;3224226]

I understand that I am not the same person that I was prior to the accident but the inability to do what came so easily is frustrating.

[/QUOTE]

You do have a legitimate reason to be angry. As I know you are aware, though, anger can consume you. How much of your other past unresolved anger is in this pile too? I am trying to put myself in your position and see it from your perspective. Let me do this for a bit and I'll come back.

I know that it really upsets you to be called a liar (the psychotherapy center issue deals with this too. I'm sorry that you had all of that happen).

Phoenix 09-25-2007 12:38 PM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
[QUOTE=Sannah;3225988]How much of your other past unresolved anger is in this pile too? [/QUOTE]

Dear Sannah,

I am so angry that everything else pales in comparison.

My father and other family members I ignore; they don't affect me as they once did.

Ryan

Sannah 09-26-2007 05:03 AM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
How much of your anger is from not being believed about the accident or said differently, that they are trying to make you out as a liar?

Phoenix 09-26-2007 10:10 AM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
[QUOTE=Sannah;3227150]How much of your anger is from not being believed about the accident or said differently, that they are trying to make you out as a liar?[/QUOTE]

Dear Sannah,

All I have on this Earth (besides my daughter) is my word.

My life is so intertwined in this accident, that it's not even funny but sad.

I have already told my attorney that I am willing to take this all the way to a jury.


Sannah,

It's been over two years and you know what I will have to show for it at the end of the PI case?

1) a non disclosure agreement and 2) injuries that will last a lifetime.

Heck, I can't even drive in the car if the radio is on.

Ryan

Sannah 09-26-2007 11:30 AM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
So I guess that you have many issues going on with this that are making you angry......

Phoenix 09-26-2007 12:24 PM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
Dear Sannah,

You are correct.

Indirectly, it's as if they harmed my daughter also and that will not go unnoticed.

Ryan

Sannah 09-27-2007 09:29 AM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
Ryan, oh, when something affects your children it makes it 10 times worse doesn't it!

AnnD 09-27-2007 09:37 AM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
Anger is a normal feeling but I feel there is so much more you haven't said. Is there a law suit happening?

Phoenix 09-27-2007 10:30 AM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
[QUOTE=Sannah;3229488]Ryan, oh, when something affects your children it makes it 10 times worse doesn't it![/QUOTE]

Dear Sannah,

"Truer" words were never spoken.

Ryan

Phoenix 09-27-2007 10:32 AM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
[QUOTE=AnnD;3229507]Anger is a normal feeling but I feel there is so much more you haven't said. Is there a law suit happening?[/QUOTE]

Dear Ann,

There is a personal injury lawsuit filed.

Ryan

Sannah 09-28-2007 07:06 AM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
Hey Ryan, I just did a web search on how to get over anger and a lot of good info came up! Just wanted to let you know that I won't be able to come here most of October because I am going on a trip. Didn't want you to think that I disappeared.

Phoenix 09-28-2007 08:10 AM

Re: Anger and Forgiveness
 
Dear Sannah,

I also surfed the web until my :metaphorical" surfboard broke in two.
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You and the good doctor enjoy yourselves. ;)

Take care and God Bless.:angel:

Ryan


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