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-   -   How to deal with my situation? (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/anger-management/603236-how-deal-my-situation.html)

akazie 05-17-2008 08:28 PM

How to deal with my situation?
 
Well, I just got extremely angry (I still am angry now!) and blow up at my neighbor. A bit of background, I put up with them yelling out abuse at me everyday and this makes me angry but I am just as bad as them when I blow up and start yelling back at them, how do I stop myself from blowing up?

I know that I am going to get angry but I have to learn how to manage this until I can move.

Phoenix 05-18-2008 02:40 AM

Re: How to deal with my situation?
 
Hello Akazie,

Realize that one cannot change the way a person acts or reacts.

All one can do is change the way he/she reacts to that person.

When you get angry, they know your buttons are being pushed, thus their mission is accomplished.

Try not giving them the power and take it back.

If you really look at it, all they are doing is projecting their insecurities and shortcomings onto you; don't play their petty game.

Take care.

Phoenix

akazie 05-18-2008 01:47 PM

Re: How to deal with my situation?
 
Thank you Phoenix for your reply :)

I am going to copy your response and every time I start to get angry I will read it just to remind me that by not reacting I have power.

I think my anger is from feeling powerless maybe?

Phoenix 05-18-2008 06:46 PM

Re: How to deal with my situation?
 
Hello A,

Feeling powerless over a situation leaves a person feeling frustrated, angry and a host of other emotions.

Take care and you are welcome.

Respectfully,

Phoenix

wisteria63 05-28-2008 07:46 PM

Re: How to deal with my situation?
 
Hello akazie, boy do I know how you fell, all too well but I can't move.
I guess I could but that would give them the signal that they have won.
I have neighbors that are very disrespectful to the whole neighborhood and especially me because I live right across from them.
I moved in a higher income area with a better school district thinking it was an improvement from where I CAME FROM, NOT SO!!
I have two young children and the neighbors across the street have two grown children, one who would ride his motorcycle up and down the street at all times, speeding and doing wheelies, I called the police to report it and ever since then it has been a living nightmare.
They also have a grown daughter, none of them work by the way except the man of the house and all are completely able to do so but they like to sue people and claim disability and live off of others.
Anyway, the daughter's boyfriend would park his truck in front of my mailbox and when that happens the mail will not be delivered.
Well one day it happened again and the mail man said, PARK IN FRONT OF THEIR BOX AND SEE HOW THEY LIKE IT, well I did. And of course that didn't go over too well because they miss the delivery of their welfare checks.
So, the daughter came out screaming all kinds of obscenities and spit in my face, well it was horrible, she went to kick me, I grabbed her leg and flipped her, she then called the cops, this all happened while my children watched, it was horrible.
The cops came and went, nothing happened because neither one of wanted to go to jail.
So, now this is what's going on.
They feed black birds, starlings, crackles tons of torn up bread by the buckets and throw it out on the front lawn. They do this about four or five times a day, they have nothing else to do.
So now everyones houses, cars, driveways, windows on houses, siding, you name it is covered in bird **** all day long. You can't park any where without getting showered with it.
The birds don't poop on their property because when the birds come they take the bread and fly away, in the opposite direction of their house of course.
So, they have found a legal way to make everyone, especially me angry all the time.
I have told my children I don't wan them out front anymore because I CAN'T STAND THE SITUATION!! I hate them so much, I have a real problem now because all I can think of is how I can do something to stop the madness.
I know I can't do anything so I know the best thing I can do is try to imagine they aren't there but that is impossible.
What would you do if you were me????
:(

akazie 05-30-2008 03:06 AM

Re: How to deal with my situation?
 
The best way to deal with a situation like this is to ignore the behavior, I know its hard. Personally, I would ring the RSPCA and ask them about feeding wild birds bead. If they start with verbal abuse or any intimidating behavior report it to the police and document it. I actually sent a crease and desist letter to my neighbors but that didn't stop them.

Phoenix 05-30-2008 06:36 AM

Re: How to deal with my situation?
 
[QUOTE=akazie;3588339] I actually sent a crease and desist letter to my neighbors but that didn't stop them.[/QUOTE]

That only adds fuel to the fire; don't give them the advantage.

Respectfully,

Phoenix

wisteria63 05-30-2008 02:57 PM

Re: How to deal with my situation?
 
Thank you akazie for replying. I have called the health department, the wild bird rescue to name a few. They all told me bread is not good for the birds but there's nothing that can be done unless they start dropping dead by the dozens.
I know I am completely helpless to this situation which leaves me feeling even more angry but I am trying very hard to ignore it and just keep cleaning my windows, my mailbox, the garage door and the siding, I HATE THEM.
Thanks again,
Wisteria63

nupsala 06-03-2008 03:31 AM

Re: How to deal with my situation?
 
Hi

May I ask if all the other neighbours feel the way you do towards these people and if you do not know then maybe it would be a good idea to speak with some of them and if they also feel as you do then perhaps you could all meet to try and disucss a way to stop this.

If you do meet and cannot think of ways to deal with your neighbours at least they (the hell neighbours) may see that you have the support of others and may start to think twice about what they are doing.

I hope you resolve this.

wisteria63 06-04-2008 02:44 PM

Re: How to deal with my situation?
 
Hello nupsala,
I have talked to neighbors, ones that live right next door and across from them as well as others and they all feel the same. Some can't even run their ponds any more because the bread is stopping up the pumps, it's a horrible situation because there is truly nothing that can be done.
I am trying to contact the person who schedules subdivision meetings and maybe we can add or change the subdivision rules, I don't know, hopefully we will find out.
Thank you very much,
Wis


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