I'm middle aged, but now see that my anger has cost me many relationships and has made my career track chaotic. At work, I get into a good position, but then I get angry at my boss and just walk away. I don't even take the time to get a new job.
It is like one person said in this forum: "It like a switch goes on. I don't have to be angry at anyone, specificly." Yes, that is it. Anger has become my identity, just like fear and frustration moods.
My psychiatrist complains that I have been complaining about anger with my parents, with her, for three years. She reminds me how old I am, I suppose, trying to shame me out of being angry. I have already asked for another doctor. Yea, don't believe that health care providers care at all about your health. You really have to get burned a couple of times to learn that fact and learn how to distinquish the good ones from the bad.
I say I'm coming out, because before, I didn't really understand how angry I am. I often have fantasies of burning things down, but didn't take them seriusly. The big change now, is that if I don't act on those feelings, then I now reward myself for having a very procuctive day. That helps me take care of the inner critic.
Try it yourself, it is no silver bullet, but even if you lay in bed all day, but do not burn the world down, or pull a Cho, then hey, you have been successful today! It is just another step in accepting and loving myself just the way that I am, that then makes real change possible.
Last edited by Blu9; 05-28-2008 at 10:00 AM.
Reason: sp
Long walks and bike rides are great exercise and excellent ways to ward off, or ride through my anger. My anger is childish, but harmful to me as long as it remained, largely, unconscious. Now conscious, it is not to difficult to guide.
I would be less hopeful, but I have seen improvement over the months and years. Sometimes, I feel like I have a poison in my head, with all the intrusive thoughts during an angry mood. But, again, I am seeing significant improvement.
I have a new doctor and see my social worker twice a month. I am bi-polar, but my symptoms are mainly depression, which includes anger, shame, guilt, etc.
I'm very creative. I would be more depressed if I thought the rest of America was doing fine and in the clear. The truth is, the economy is headed for the toilet. I have re-doubled my healthy efforts to reduce my neediness in preparation for what is ahead. I look forward to people needing each other again.
