ideas needed please
I admit that I have anger issues. I have never got to the point of physically assaulting anyone. I have had it under control for quite a few years, to the point where I would have to work at getting angry. I left an abusive relationship in January. That's what started my anger back again. Now I'm at the point where I'm angry all the time and am trying to do what I can to control it. I've started with yelling, but I haven't hit anyone and am doing everything I can to make sure that I don't.
I've got a lot going on in my life; watching my father battle cancer (my mom lost her battle), getting diagnoses to see if I've got cancer, my youngest daughter's father has me in court to try to get access to her, I'm constantly dealing with the RCMP (because of my baby's father), constantly dealing with social workers (again because of my baby's father), child psychologists (because of the attack my daughter got from her father), another court battle against someone that's stolen money from myself and my kids. That's just the gist of it. I'm noticing that it's not taking very much to push me over the edge to yelling. My dog barks and I see red and yell at her.
I HATE being this angry! I've tried physically exhausting myself with lots of exercise, writing letters to people that are angering me (but not giving the letters to them), talked to a therapist who said I didn't need help. Today I got so angry because my dog escaped and ran off that I actually punched a brick wall and snapped a couple tendons in my hand (I was angry at myself for not noticing that she was about to take off). This is the first time I've reacted physically to the anger.
I need suggestions on what to do to properly channel this anger into something more useful. Everything I used before to channel it isn't working. I can't help but wonder if it's just too much going on and too much stress, but I hate that I'm so angry all the time. I actually warn my family that I'm in a bad mood, and do a lot of deep breathing to try to calm myself.