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Old 07-19-2009, 08:28 PM   #1
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buddydog HB User
What to do when my wife gets me angry?

My wife is a good person but sometimes she does not think before she does something. However, she does not mean anything by it and does not deserve for me to get angry and the yelling that goes on when that happens.

Basically I would like some alternatives to yelling at my wife when I hit that anger point. I dont get angry that often (generally a few times a year), but when I do it is very hurtful and destructive. If I can get past those 2-10 minutes when I am angry about something without causing a bunch of chaos it would be very helpful. I almost always am calm and pretty much over it after 10 minutes. However she hurts for days as she is more sensitive about it, and I dont like to see that.

 
Old 07-19-2009, 10:40 PM   #2
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Re: What to do when my wife gets me angry?

Buddydog,

Your wife is fortunate to have a husband who cares about her feelings like you do, and that you recognize how your occasional outburst hurt her. If you only have a few times a year to overcome, it should be pretty easy.

When you feel the anger come up, step back, take 50 breath's, count to 100, or whatever number you need, before you speak, or act. Spend those moments focusing on your love for your sweet wife.
.
Lovingly explain to your wife that your will not yell at her anymore, and ask her to support your efforts to change your behavior. I'll bet she will feel very happy to help, and love you even more.

It can be easy to act out on those who we love the most, but to respect and treasure the ones you love the most, will serve you forever. Fear and intimidation do not work in matters of love and trust.

I think you are well on your way to being a real man, because you care, and protect.

Last edited by writeleft; 07-19-2009 at 10:41 PM.

 
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Old 07-30-2009, 06:01 AM   #3
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Re: What to do when my wife gets me angry?

Just smile and ask about her problems, listen carefully pay attention to her words. If the problems are based on families try to sort it out. If of son/ daughter discuss at bed time. If it is about in laws ignore them

 
Old 08-02-2009, 07:13 PM   #4
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Re: What to do when my wife gets me angry?

Quote:
Originally Posted by buddydog View Post
My wife is a good person but sometimes she does not think before she does something. However, she does not mean anything by it and does not deserve for me to get angry and the yelling that goes on when that happens.

Basically I would like some alternatives to yelling at my wife when I hit that anger point. I dont get angry that often (generally a few times a year), but when I do it is very hurtful and destructive. If I can get past those 2-10 minutes when I am angry about something without causing a bunch of chaos it would be very helpful. I almost always am calm and pretty much over it after 10 minutes. However she hurts for days as she is more sensitive about it, and I dont like to see that.
read this book anger busting 101 or emergencey guide to control anger they are great and it also helps you with anger. please read it it really make you think before you say hurtful things that you don't mean it help me out alot and me and my girlfriend of 5 years have'nt had a fight in awhile so please read these two books.

 
Old 08-02-2009, 08:06 PM   #5
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Re: What to do when my wife gets me angry?

You are in total and absolute control in how you respond to your wife. Just think about it for awhile and I am sure you can come up with something that doesn't require you to actually say anything. Leave the house,the room,go into the bathroom or when words fall out of her mouth just look at her and just say... "I don't know how to make (whatever she said) better. All I know is I love you..what can I do to make it better for you?" But ya know there are times when we all have to just respond to thoughtless words spoken by others and perhaps you could tell her that what she just said hurt your feelings and it upsets you. I don't know if any of us would be able to just be nice about thoughtless words. Perhaps what you are doing is just fine?...I don't think anyone should be allowed to just say thoughtless hurtful things and not be called on it...i guess you will have to figure out how to do that without going overboard. Good luck.

 
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