NicolaMcX

I find it very difficult to control my anger and was hoping on some advie on how to do this. Its getting to the point where its dangerous. My dad is a heavy drinker and physically abused my mum(not always) just sometimes at the weekend or when he was drunk. He also has problems with anger, e.g he would fling things, smash things, punch walls/doors. I have now turned out the same as him and that is my worst nightmare!! At the weekends I stayed at home, rather than go out with friends because I felt like I had to protect my mum. So when my dad did abuse her I would punch walls or hurt myself so he would stop. Watching abuse and trying to stop it is obviously is what has caused my anger problems. I am 19 and my mum and dad split up 2 years ago, this has made me happier (i can go out with friends without worrying or feeling the need to protect my mum); but when having arguments with my mum i cannot control my anger. I punch walls several times, wreck my room, kick furniture, smash things, headbutt walls, or hurt my self. When my mum is in my face shouting I am sooo close to hitting her but punch a wall instead, but i know there will come a time where i will hit her if i dont do something about the problem. I have asked for advice on this on another forum and I was told I am self harming!! Please, everyone do not suggest a councillor to help with self harm or anger management classes. I absolutely do not feel comfortable speaking to someone face to face about this hence writing about it on a forum where I remain anonomous. i understand that it may be classed as self harm but I know if I had ways of dealing with anger I would not act this way and therfore would not self harm. So could someone please give me advice on how to work on my anger and how to control it.
Thank You
Nicola