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Old 09-05-2010, 07:09 PM   #1
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Anyone quick to anger with complete strangers rather than friends/family?

For most people, it's easier to express their anger with their loved ones and those close to them. Not so for me. I have a hard time expressing my anger even if a friend "wronged" me in any way unless it was major. However, lashing out to strangers over minor wrongdoings is quite a common occurrence for me.

A few weeks ago, I was walking home from the bar.. I had a few drinks but nowhere near enough to severely impair my judgement (wasn't driving but i probably still could legally at that point, I digress.) I cross a 4-lane street on the walk signal, and when I almost get to the other side, this huge van trying to turn right honks at me loud and suddenly. (Light was still red for him when i got to that side.) I don't know what I was thinking but I let out a kick to the side of that car. 2 burly men emerge from the van and they rush at me. Fortunately, there was a crowd on that street, and they held both of us apart, preventing a fight from breaking out until the police came and arrested us both and we got tickets for disorderly conduct.

I told my friends about the incident and they had a hard time believing it saying they can't picture me erupting in anger. (May have been a different story had I gone to the bar *with* them that night.) It's very difficult to come out about your anger issues when those close to you don't recognize you as an angry person.. when you have anger issues but they only surface when you feel a stranger has violated you..

 
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Old 10-27-2010, 02:34 AM   #2
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Re: Anyone quick to anger with complete strangers rather than friends/family?

i get annoyed with strangers more than anyone!!! ugh

 
Old 10-27-2010, 06:17 PM   #3
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Re: Anyone quick to anger with complete strangers rather than friends/family?

I get angry with everyone....more often with the people that are close to me...but still often enough with strangers. However, I don't verbalize or act out on the anger with strangers...but I am more VICIOUS to them in my head. There have been many times I feel like ramming my shopping cart into the person that is in my way in the supermarket. I envision the whole thing and it gets to a point where I will mumble something as I am passing them by. Also, I have no patience with waitresses/waiters...I blew my cool on my boyfriend one night because the stupid waitress....now this is stupid....brought his dinner out before mine was ready...he was almost done with his when I got mine...and the whole time I was waiting..I was complaining LOUDLY to my boyfriend. I was saying things like...what kind of a waitress doesn't bring out BOTH meals together...Does she not see that we are a couple...Does she have any brains in her head....Does she KNOW WHO IS PAYING HER THE TIP??? I was on the verge of tears with ANGER and when she brought the plate and apologized...All I said was "YEA THANKS" in a REAL cocky tone. So, in that case...both victims got the dose of my anger, the person close to me and the waitress. My anger is always somewhat out of control.

 
Old 03-29-2011, 09:58 PM   #4
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Re: Anyone quick to anger with complete strangers rather than friends/family?

I absolutely have no qualms lashing out viciously to strangers but I'm much more constrained with family/friends/etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Misssty View Post
I get angry with everyone....more often with the people that are close to me...but still often enough with strangers. However, I don't verbalize or act out on the anger with strangers...but I am more VICIOUS to them in my head. There have been many times I feel like ramming my shopping cart into the person that is in my way in the supermarket. I envision the whole thing and it gets to a point where I will mumble something as I am passing them by. Also, I have no patience with waitresses/waiters...I blew my cool on my boyfriend one night because the stupid waitress....now this is stupid....brought his dinner out before mine was ready...he was almost done with his when I got mine...and the whole time I was waiting..I was complaining LOUDLY to my boyfriend. I was saying things like...what kind of a waitress doesn't bring out BOTH meals together...Does she not see that we are a couple...Does she have any brains in her head....Does she KNOW WHO IS PAYING HER THE TIP??? I was on the verge of tears with ANGER and when she brought the plate and apologized...All I said was "YEA THANKS" in a REAL cocky tone. So, in that case...both victims got the dose of my anger, the person close to me and the waitress. My anger is always somewhat out of control.

 
Old 04-03-2011, 12:53 AM   #5
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Re: Anyone quick to anger with complete strangers rather than friends/family?

I tell my friends and my wife all the time that the avg person on the street would just as soon kill you as look at you...so then I feel that they hate me, and then it makes me hate them...I almost see them as "the enemy", but in my heart of hearts, I know that is not right. I just get so mad when I feel I have been wronged. People are so predictable...the secret is, EXPECT FAILURE...your expectations are too high that these people have any respect for you and know how to drive, etc...If you go out knowing and expecting them to do you wrong (even if it is not intentional because although we take it as a personal attack, it usually i not), then you will not be so let down when strangers do things that bother you.

THE ONE THING that bothers me too much to describe, is people in my way...it makes me crazy...then I get chest pains and rage and then I am even madder at them for getting me upset by being the the f'in way. I really have to work on it and I am trying...I need to EXPECT that everytime I leave my house (especially if in a hurry or late to work), 90% of strangers are and will see to it they get in my way and do unexplainable acts of almost coordinated intentional interference with my commute, walk, etc. But I have to learn it is not like they all got together to pick on me, it is just reality and very few people do things the way "it should be"...I do most of the time, so I expect others to do the same but 90% of people are clueless sheep drones in the fk'n way and I have to learn to stop letting it upset me so much and accept it will NEVER change...I am not the center of the universe. But some acts are just harder to let go than others...some people deserve to be beaten but it just is not feasible nor the answer EVEN WHEN justified.

Unless you are assaulted, then you have got to just turn the other cheek...you could have either ignored those guys, or smiled and waved at them...I don't tolerate loud sudden noises and they enrage me, even if the wind slams a door at home when the windows are open...it makes me want to fight. But in reality, it is not worth being stabbed or shot over and a horn is not as bad as destruction of property...if I honked at you for being in my way and you kicked my car, then I'd get out to beat you too...put yourself in the other person's shoes...I might have been tempted to flip them off, but kicking the car is overkill and asking for trouble...hence a real anger problem.

I am gonna work hard to expect less from people and I think you should too and maybe you and I can be happier people when strangers would otherwise p1ss us of and interfere with our lives.

 
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