I have hit rock bottom. I need help
Hi everyone, this is my first post and I look forward to future discussions with each and everyone one of you! Here is sort of my story and what has brought me here.
I have played online poker for the last four years. I would like to think that I have gotten pretty good at it, but the inevitable losing streaks that come with it have caused me to go over the edge numerous times despite the fact that I am aware that these things happen.
Too make a long story short, my loss of control over these issues has resulted in the following damage:
First, when I had a desktop, I broke the stand to my monitor.
I have gone through dozens of mice and keyboards as the result of slamming it in rage.
I bought a laptop for cheap from my brother and bent the keyboard, two weeks later I cracked the laptop screen rendering it useless.
I threw a book at a wall and put a hole in it in the place I was living at the time I was in college and almost got evicted
Now you guys are really going to hate me. My Parents gave me a Macbook Pro as a graduation gift in May. I was well aware of my problem and vowed to be very careful around it. Like a fool, I continued to play online poker. While I did well at first, I started to become less appreciate of the Mac's value and the fact that my parents were kind enough to purchase one for me. After a very unfortunate run of cards in one tournament, I smashed the comptuer multiple times, once again bending the keyboard slightly.
Last night however, was the final straw for me, after struggling in the tournaments I was playing, I head butted my trackpad and cracked it. So here we are now, and I have a mess of a computer in front of me only 5 months after I received it.
As you can see, my anger has put me in a lot of deep holes that could easily been avoided. I have caused pain not only to my self but to my friends and family who have been nothing but patient with me, despite that, I have made no improvements on this problem. Interestingly enough, my anger has never caused me to physically harm people, only to objects.
In conclusion, here is what I have decided to do for now:
Withdraw the remaining funds from my online account and use it to buy a cheap net book. This will tide me over while I send my mac in to be fixed (glad I got the warranty!) so that I can continue to study for my graduate classes. Afterwards, I am taking a break from poker for a very long time if not permanently.
In any event, thank you for your time.
My name is Andrew, and I have an anger problem.
Last edited by Andrew758; 09-17-2011 at 12:14 AM.