| | Excessivley Angry, Please Help!!!
I dont know what to do!
I'm a 23 year old female with one 2 year old child, and a husband. Ive been with him for over 8 years now. For the past few years, about 3 - 4, I have been getting more and more angry and I dont know why. Little things just keep stacking up and it makes me a powder keg! I find myself in a rage more than not now and it really bothers me. Its like Im watching in 3rd person as Im so angry and I yell and start fights for no reason. At the time though I really feel like I have a reason.
My husband and I have tried to talk things over, but I think hes about to give up on us because of this. We are both extremely alpha type personalities, and so fights really go nowhere.
I honestly cant stand myself for being so angry all the time, but when Im in a frothing rage, on the inside I feel so calm and serene. I dont really have any way to express my agression and I feel that its just getting worse and building up over time. I hate violence except when nessesary, so I cant even go beat up a punching bag w/o feeling bad about it. I even feel bad about boiling potatoes b/c I feel like Im murdering them.
I need help with solving this vicious cycle. When Im the most angry, I feel the most calm, and it makes no sense. It seems like Im makeing mountains out of molehills in fights b/c its my dogma in life that if it didnt do anything to you, then dont do anything to it.