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Old 03-29-2012, 11:33 AM   #1
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Arrow Anger is ruining our lives

I have been reading the threads on anger issues, and we are all saying the same things. We can't control our anger. We explode for little or no reason, and we don't seem to know how to recognize and divert the explosion until it is too late. We are hurting the people we love most, and we wish we could change, but find it hard to get the kind of help we need.
To me, it sounds a lot like alcohol or drug addiction. Those people have groups they can join, and many of them find it really helps them to recover from their problem. I don't know about you, but I would be willing to do almost anything, if I could get my temper under control.
Medical help is a good step to take, but maybe not always be enough. Exercise, calming techniques, and other things help to, but I wish sometimes that I understood what is going on inside, and what to do about it. I feel it would help if I could talk to someone who understands. Maybe a group similar to AA would be a good idea.
I went to an anger management group for awhile, and found it did help, but when the sessions ended, I was back to the way things were before. Maybe I need support for the rest of my life, maybe not, but I would really like to join some group that can relate to my experience. Is anyone with me on this?
Maybe we can start anger management groups in our own communities. A place where we can talk with others who are a lot like us. Having someone you can turn to might help. Someone who is a phone call away. Someone who wouldn't judge you, because they feel the same as you sometimes, and they need help too. I felt alone in my problem until I saw so many people posting the same kind of feelings. I would like to help you if I can. Let's all help each other. Let's all deal with our problem together.

Last edited by moderator2; 03-29-2012 at 11:54 AM.

 
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Old 04-10-2012, 11:23 AM   #2
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Re: Anger is ruining our lives

I AGREE!!

I just live in a small area and would be afraid of it ruining my career. I own a childcare facility and would be scared of my families learning of this disorder.

I'm tired of being tired of it.

I like your idea of getting people together and just talking and getting it figured out, without judging each other. Completely understanding one another. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way so a free place to go would be fabulous!

 
Old 04-12-2012, 01:08 PM   #3
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Re: Anger is ruining our lives

I have issues analogous to yours and to tell you the truth I read a book called "the power of now" and "The 4 agreements". I would recommend both of you to read it because it had a big impact in my life.

 
Old 04-12-2012, 01:54 PM   #4
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Re: Anger is ruining our lives

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrAK View Post
I have issues analogous to yours and to tell you the truth I read a book called "the power of now" and "The 4 agreements". I would recommend both of you to read it because it had a big impact in my life.

Thank you! Are these the books you're speaking of?

The Four Agreements Toltec Wisdom Collection: 3-Book Boxed Set by Miguel Ruiz (Sep 1, 2008)

Practicing the Power of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises From The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (Sep 2001)
__________________
"Only after the last tree has been cut down, Only after the last river has been poisoned, Only after the last fish has been caught, Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten."

 
Old 04-15-2012, 07:14 PM   #5
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Re: Anger is ruining our lives

The books you mentioned are WONDERFUL!!
I'm so glad to see they were recommended!!
Good luck to you!

 
Old 04-15-2012, 07:28 PM   #6
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Re: Anger is ruining our lives

I would just like to add something here that comes from my own experience. To me, it has always seemed like my worst instances of anger always stemmed from the SAME THING: I was afraid to be 100%, totally and completely HONEST about the way I felt about a situation or person.

I would try hard to always say 'the right thing' ... or the things that would be 'approved of' by others... but I finally admitted to _myself_ that I was just pretending..not being really honest. To be really honest can be frightening.

I have found that the people who yell "I don't give a blank about what anyone thinks...I tell it the way it is!!!" ...they are the ones who are MOST afraid of not being accepted and so afraid of rejection. All of this results in a LOT of anger.

Fear of being honest results in our being angry with _ourselves_... We get very disappointed in ourselves for being afraid to speak our OWN truths. This had been a BIG problem for me because I tried for SO many years to be a People Pleaser.

First we have to be willing to be honest with OURSELVES...and that includes being willing to be wrong, at fault, the one who actually might have caused a problem... It's all OK! We've all done it. I am writing all of this because I finally...FINALLY :-) got to the point where I (still working on it!) simply spoke what I truly believed...and let the chips fall where they may...risking OTHER peoples anger! Doesn't mean I had the right to be insulting or mean or put others down...but that, too, happens. And when it does... talk it out, make amends without being phony... Anyway...before I did this I would have flare ups of anger out of the blue that would just 'take over.' I seldom ever do this anymore. Besides, I learned its "OK" to feel angry!! It doesn't make us BAD... we just have to learn what is triggering it and then how to handle it.

 
Old 04-25-2012, 07:56 PM   #7
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Re: Anger is ruining our lives

Quote:
Originally Posted by Igetmad2 View Post
I have been reading the threads on anger issues, and we are all saying the same things. We can't control our anger. We explode for little or no reason, and we don't seem to know how to recognize and divert the explosion until it is too late. We are hurting the people we love most, and we wish we could change, but find it hard to get the kind of help we need.
To me, it sounds a lot like alcohol or drug addiction. Those people have groups they can join, and many of them find it really helps them to recover from their problem. I don't know about you, but I would be willing to do almost anything, if I could get my temper under control.
Medical help is a good step to take, but maybe not always be enough. Exercise, calming techniques, and other things help to, but I wish sometimes that I understood what is going on inside, and what to do about it. I feel it would help if I could talk to someone who understands. Maybe a group similar to AA would be a good idea.
I went to an anger management group for awhile, and found it did help, but when the sessions ended, I was back to the way things were before. Maybe I need support for the rest of my life, maybe not, but I would really like to join some group that can relate to my experience. Is anyone with me on this?
Maybe we can start anger management groups in our own communities. A place where we can talk with others who are a lot like us. Having someone you can turn to might help. Someone who is a phone call away. Someone who wouldn't judge you, because they feel the same as you sometimes, and they need help too. I felt alone in my problem until I saw so many people posting the same kind of feelings. I would like to help you if I can. Let's all help each other. Let's all deal with our problem together.
Hi, I was just wondering, have you ever considered seeing a psychiatrist or therapist so that you can get to the roots of what causes your anger? If you could figure out whats at the base of it, perhaps you could learn how to deal with that, whatever is deep inside you that is hurting you and causing you pain, and then it might be easier to express your anger in a more productive way. Your not just being this kind of angry for no reason or because you like to be mean...theres a specific reason, something in side of you that sets it off. It was just a suggestion.

Your idea is a very good one. If you had an anger management group in your community you may very well have a longer term support group already in place. You can check with your Department of Social Services and see if they have a long term group assembled. That would also be a good place to mention creating one if they don't.

Take care.

 
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