It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Anger Management Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-22-2012, 12:53 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Birmingham
Posts: 1
hughsie3211 HB User
Red face I can't cope anymore

For around the last six months I have become increasingly angry over things that wouldn't have bothered my before. I have been letting my anger out through hitting walls and cutting myself. None of my family know of this and I can't tell them. I have had swollen knuckles through hitting the wall. Recently I have been having waves of angry go through my body. These make me lash out. Please I need help in how I can stop these please xx

Last edited by hughsie3211; 05-23-2012 at 01:00 AM.

 
The following user gives a hug of support to hughsie3211:
Phoenix (05-26-2012)
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-23-2012, 03:05 PM   #2
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2
gonzo274 HB User
Re: I can't cope anymore

Please tell your family or at least your parents. The 2 best times to tell them are when it began and right now. Don't hide things like this. Several heads are better than one. Your family is your front line support system.
All questions have answers, there's a reason why this is happening so you've got to become Sherlock Holmes. Rule out all the possibilities to see where it leads - physiological, pharmacological, emotional or any combination of those. Your doctor will do blood tests which is essential. You would be shocked at what deficiencies in your body can cause. These tests may tell what elements and nutrients you are lacking. If you're on medication, how long have you been on it and is there any correlation between the onset of this and when you began the meds?
Finally, what's bothering you? You are your own best shrink and no one knows your mind and your soul like you do. If the tests show nothing then look into yourself and find what happened to make you feel this way. You'll know. If it is this, your paradigms might make you rationalize it, don't. Let it come to the surface. If you need someone to help you with that, find a confidant, not your folks or friends but someone professional to bounce it off of. You can solve it. It will pass. Ask for the help and take it when it comes. The fact that you reached out here is the first step and you took it. Keep climbing.

Last edited by gonzo274; 05-23-2012 at 03:09 PM. Reason: left out an important element

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-25-2012, 11:29 PM   #3
Junior Member
(female)
 
cactus owlet's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 12
cactus owlet HB User
Re: I can't cope anymore

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear about the insane level of GRRRR which has become so unmanageable that you're resorting to really risky methods of coping. That's not good. I can very much relate to high levels of anger. I'm a very frustrated person. I don't punch the wall, but I often wish I had a huge backyard with a dedicated wall that I could just throw a bunch of plates at whenever I'm particularly unimpressed with life.

Look, it's true that yeah, you should tell your family IF they are supportive of you. Psychological intervention might help, if you can access it, it might help isolate the cause of your anger (which you say is recent about things which didn't bother you before), and it might help you with some more less intense and risky, more constructive coping methods. Also, it's true that there are some physical conditions which can contribute to irritability, including hormones, so what you also need is a good doctor.

But I also understand that the ideal treatment regime for a problem isn't always what you can access overnight, and that you might want some help now.

It sounds like your anger is presumably having to be repressed a lot of the time? if you can't tell anyone it exists; and then when you're by yourself, you're actually trying to expel it from your body. Your instinct to punch might not be as unhealthy as it seems. I don't know how old you are or what your situation is, and whether you have any physical health conditions. If I didn't, I would totally have a punching bag if I could. When I was much younger and my neck and shoulders were not as painful, I once lived in a place that had a punching bag. It actually still hurt me a bit to hit it then, and what I used to do was attack it with a mop! I would thwack the mop repeatedly against the bag with all the force I could muster, until I could actually feel the physical frustration leave my body - until I spent the frustration, in other words. I also tried to go running (and I am so not into exercise, trust me) but basically have huge problems with my feet. However, I can say that running felt good - it felt like I could literally leave everything that was annoying me behind.

The other thing I would totally do if I could, is martial arts. I think this is probably a REALLY good outlet for physical frustration while at the same time learning to control and discipline aggression.

Other options that I personally do not find useful are things like mindfulness meditation and tai chi. But what I don't find useful, you might.

I have the feeling you might be young and living with your parents? If you can tell us any more about your situation, it might help to know what your best options are, but I thought I might mention those immediate types of physical expulsion of aggression because I personally think they're a very useful short term measure. Particularly if your anger is building up and you feel like you just need a way to let it out in a burst somehow. Anger is unpleasant, but it can also be a natural response to certain situations. So, it's good to look into the underlying causes and see/address what's making it happen so you can feel better, especially since it wasn't the case all that's long ago. But it's also valid to find an alternate coping mechanism so that when these feelings hit, you know you have ways of releasing the anger which aren't actually harmful to yourself, which you will then regret later.

Feel free to reply, good luck and best wishes!

 
Old 05-26-2012, 06:10 AM   #4
Facilitator
(male)
 
Phoenix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,862
Blog Entries: 33
Phoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB User
Re: I can't cope anymore

Quote:
Originally Posted by hughsie3211 View Post
For around the last six months I have become increasingly angry over things that wouldn't have bothered my before. I have been letting my anger out through hitting walls and cutting myself. None of my family know of this and I can't tell them. I have had swollen knuckles through hitting the wall. Recently I have been having waves of angry go through my body. These make me lash out. Please I need help in how I can stop these please xx
Hello hughsie3211,

Have you ever taken anger management classes?
It may be of benefit to you.
You need an outlet;a way of channeling that energy positively.
It takes a lot of effort but in the long run you may be able to keep the anger to a minimum.

Respectfully
Phoenix
__________________
When in doubt, post it out.

 
Old 09-13-2012, 10:58 PM   #5
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Boynton Beach
Posts: 2
Vince50 HB User
Lightbulb Re: I can't cope anymore

Hi, I hope I got to you just in time Hughsie. -) I read your post very carefully. I am not a licensed physician so take what I say with a grain of salt.

I would like to make a wager, never having met you, that you do not currently run or do martial arts. How dod I know that? Because either one, done consistantly will not only make you feel better, take you "out of your body" the more natural and healthy way, but both will also release endophins(the happy chemicals) into your brain so you7 get a "happy high" for free with no risk. Going a step further, Ive chatted with several cutters in the past. All have low self esteem and extreme unmanagable frustration among other things. Well martial arts will let you lash out literally at a moving target, you will be nurtured and cared for(if you join a good school) by an instructor who may even become a father figure and your self esteem will skyrocket as you feel less a victim and more in control of your life as more and more...less people can hurt yopu as your skill goes up. At some point, almost nobody will be able to hurt you if you dedicate yourself. At the very least, doing martial arts even for fun will let you make some super nice new friends. In otrher words, both of these activities will bring into your life the first thing a cutter needs: CHANGE!

I can help you pick out a good school. Also journaling both upon awakening and before rertiring at night for 15min or more each time may do wonders as well. I believe that every human being can find one "activity", that means DOING, that will make you happy as a clam. It may not happen after one week of martial arts classes or painting classes or running, but in a pretty short time it WILL happen.

stay well, and remember everything is changing every day, why not you!

Vince

Last edited by moderator2; 09-14-2012 at 06:42 AM.

 
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:02 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!