I'm angry at my boyfriend all the time, and it's getting more often
I have been dating my boyfriend for more than 2 years, on and off. We broke up more than ten times. Most of the time he would be the one to break it off. It would be reasons like "I don't feel the same way for you anymore", "I don't love you" or "I don't think it's a good idea because we've been fighting about the same thing and if we are together nothing is gonna change"
But he's always the one to ask me to come back. And foolishly I always accept him back because I still love him and I'm in a vulnerable position. We always have problems about him hanging out with friends. Because he would be drinking so much with them when he doesn't have a lot of money. And he would be broke while being with me. And when he's drunk he's very disturbing. And I hate it.
Since the last time we broke up, he set rules...That I cannot hang out with him when he's with his friends (we had common friends) and that we have to keep our relationship a secret. He said it's because when more people know about it, it creates problem. From that point, I feel like I am angry about it and I can't do anything about it.
Now I am angry all the time, and its getting more often. I feel like everything is unfair for my part. Now I don't want him to hang out with his friends. I start to hate them. I feel like I am forced to be cornered. He says that I am selfish for not letting him hanging out with his friends...I know it's selfish when he says it like that but I feel like everything I have to accept, all the conditions, all the break ups, and his drunken habits...they made me this way...
I don't know what to do.