My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now. He recently moved in with me due to problems at home. I had liked him for years before we finally started dating and I couldn't be happier with him.
At my house before he moved in I lived with two other girls, one was my best friend the other was a girl that I barley knew. The girl I barley knew decided she was going to move out not even half way through the lease leaving me and my bestie to try and salvage our way through since she had furnished the whole house except our bedrooms. my best friend and I little by little accumulated more furniture for our home and with the help of our neighbors we got all the basics. Things were really starting to look up after this. Then the girl that left's boyfriend decided to trash our house while drunk leaving us with $500.00 worth of damage that we can't pay for. I said I wasn't going to pay for the damages since it was her stupid boyfriend that ruined the house.
**Side note, this girl's mother is my Manager at work... So this can really put tension on me all day when we are arguing.**
So.... 3 months later the damage is still not fixed and the boyfriend has shown no intention at all to fix it... Of course I am mad because I don't want to go down for it.
Then our Landlord decides she wants rent in one check, so I open an account at my Bank for us 3 girls My best friend still pays rent though she isn't living there because she signed a yr lease term) to deposit our rent into so I can write one check. Well, first of all both girls are ALWAYS LATE ON RENT and then one was just going to stop paying it... Though she told me she was still depositing the money... Upon her good faith I had been writing checks to the Landlord... come to find out she hadn't deposited the money and now I am $800 in the hole still climbing out AND NO ONE CARES, EXCEPT MY BOYFRIEND AND IT SUCKS!!!! Also all of the bills for the house are in my name and my roommate is LATE ON EVERY SINGLE BILL, EVERY SINGLE MONTH... Making me look bad...Also, sheNEVER helps me buy groceries yet supports her loser jobless boyfriend all the time... I have reached my breaking point with everything in my life and my boyfriend has to deal with it every day...
He has told me he is going to leave me if I cant get my anger under control because I do, I will admit, take a lot of things out on him... however, I do "mom duties" (laundry, dishes, cook dinner sometimes, help him with bills, etc..) thinking that this is enough (but he has pointed out though he appreciates that, he would rather me do none of that for him because that doesn't make him happy with our relationship...) THIS MAKES ME FEEL UNAPPRECIATED, but I never considered how I emotionally make him feel. I don't want to loose him but I get so stressed about my living situation it makes it hard not to snap... The smallest joke can set me off... Make me angry and make me pout or cry for hours, sometimes days! Please help me... I don't want to loose the love of my life over my stupidity...
Last edited by Administrator; 07-30-2012 at 12:03 AM.
Is your bf paying rent or is he yet another person ripping you off? I am not surprised that you are angry; the stress you must be feeling is huge.
You are also waiting on him hand and foot and he has the nerve to threaten you about leaving. How long are you in for this lease before you can ditch this lot? Get your landlady to inspect the damage and put the hard word on the roommate and her bf. it is not fair that you should have any liability. While I don't think you should lash out at your bf, he must see what you are going through, and could be more understanding. Sera
Last edited by Administrator; 07-30-2012 at 12:04 AM.
The Following User Says Thank You to Seraph For This Useful Post: Monkchunk123 (06-27-2012)
He does pay the Cable bill, and buys groceries most of the time, since I am in debt up to my eyeballs because of my negligent roommates; and he is slowly starting to help around the house... I think its funny. LOL.. and he has been dealing with my anger issues for months... Really ever since the one roommate left back in March he has been dealing with me getting angry at the flip of a dime... My family has told me that they consider me an "angry person" and that I have always been the first one to blow up. I have been through anger management twice, also rehabs for anger issues and they seem to be a temporary fix since I easily let stress build into anger, which gets the best of me. I am trying to let go and just relax but it's really hard when my name is on the line..
My lease is not up until November... I want to tell the Landlord about the damages to the house, but I dont want to throw my roommate under the bus considering her mother is my Manager at work, and that would create a lot of added tension...I am currently looking for a different job but I really enjoy my job, its just a real sucky situation on my part which makes me mad, angry, and confused...
Last edited by Administrator; 07-30-2012 at 12:05 AM.
Well her boyfriend that did the damage needs charges pressed, since he has had ample time and made no attempts to make it right. He has admitted it to you and two other people. file a small claims suit as soon as possible to put the $$$t on him or you girls will be held accountable.
As a man a real man he should get a job and step up to the plate with the landlord, admit it and work out a payment arrangement with her for her damaged property, or fry him in court is all I have to help, I know it won't help your friendship but real friends don't let their boyfriends make you pay for their mistakes period!! or she is just to the point of using you to for her worthless boyfriends gain and her own. Maybe you should start looking for another job, I know easier said than done but I would drop the legal system on him in a heart beat. Thieves and losers have no sympathy in my book, as I had many friends HA HA I went to school with and grew up together, That ripped me and my business off left and right they were really never friends and now ARE NOT!!! you will come to find many years from now that you will probably only have a couple REAL FRIENDS in a lifetime
I wish you the best with these people and it is terrible to loose a friend over their own selfish thoughts, and MONEY issues is the #1 thing I found not to ever loan a friend any (donate a gift maybe) if you want to keep em a friend, sorry for putting it out there so hard to you but YOU are going to have to deal with this if he don't GOOD LUCK
As for the boyfriend part he may be the man you want to spend the rest of your life with so try not to take anything out on him. Take that negative energy and thoughts and help yourself and him. Try getting out of the lease because they are gonna make you look bad with late payments all the time, that was not your agreement with them to ruin your credit for their gain.
Do try to get your boyfriend and yourself a place and walk away from this mess as it is not gonna help your relationship, you will calm down a lil bit I hope if this stuff is dealt with properly.
work EVERYTHING out for you and him, the heck with bestie if she is puttin the crap on you, she is responsible for that damage for letting him in, as much as he is try to explain to her mother what they have done to you with it all, as an elder she should understand and not take it out on you, you just need to be calm and walk away if she goes off on you TAKE CARE AND LOOK OUT FOR YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND HUGS YOU'LL GET THROUGH IT I KNOW YOU CAN
Last edited by Administrator; 07-30-2012 at 12:07 AM.
The following user gives a hug of support to NeckIssueGuy: Monkchunk123 (06-29-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to NeckIssueGuy For This Useful Post: Monkchunk123 (06-29-2012)
Thank you so much. I'm not sure if either of you are interested but these past couple days, I have been trying very hard to channel my anger toward running and video games. LOL It has been going Okay and I'm hoping my Boyfriend and I can rekindle what we have left of our relationship. I have not been contacting my roommate at all. I have let her Mother know of the late fees and though she doesnt care at all...AT least she knows why I am upset with daughter. Thank you so much for your support and help
Last edited by Administrator; 07-30-2012 at 12:09 AM.
Sure enough, That is excellent you will find your way as we all do for sure,have fun with your boyfriend and enjoy life, sometimes it is a good thing to bite your tongue and count to 10 and a few deep breaths, it helps alot and some things are better left not said for sure, and rethink if what you're gonna say will help or hurt and to what benefit it will be to you to go off, that helped me a ton, take care have a good one
Last edited by Administrator; 07-30-2012 at 12:09 AM.