Trouble USING coping skills
Hi, my name is Mandy and I'm new to this board. I've read the rules and stickies, and am still a bit confused on the lines, so I apologize if this is a "bad" post.
I go from baseline to raging, ranting, out of control, bypassing the little window of uh oh, gotta use my coping skills and chill more often than not. Switch flips, bam, snuck by me again. Part of me is ranting and GRRRR and the other is saying "shut up Mandy, just stop, you know better." Sigh...
I've come up with what I can for coping skills; with my family situation, my oldest's health needs and my own physical health I am limited for options. Deep breathing, mantras, visualization, leaving the room for a minute, letting off steam by throwing soft things like socks or making weird noises, clenching my fists in & out. WHEN I use them, they do help.
I know my baseline is not good and my fuse is short, and I know why. Working to change what I can and truly accept what I can't. I wasn't allowed to be angry as a kid and am trying to learn now as an adult "positive anger". Ha. I've got the angry down, and then some, just ask my poor kids. I tend to be a dual natured person, on one hand very in tune with what is emotionally healthy and good parenting etc - intellectually, at least -and I try hard to BE that. And then on the other, I'm a raving lunatic overwhelmed by it all.
How do you manage to catch yourself in time to use the skills? Do yours work once you are already angry, or do you ride it out? Different skills for already angry to calm? Maybe I'm not using good coping skills?? I've read tons baout anger management & mental health, I have a counselor, what I don't have is input from others who have been there. If anyone can offer their perspetive, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!!