| The Story Thus Far
I've been prone to outbursts of rage and anger for a long time. My anger tends to be a destructive force.
As a kid when I'd get scolded I would often feel like defending myself with violence but that dissipated somewhat in my teen years. When my wife and I were dating I would often fly-off the handle about issues between her and I, particularly ones dealing with her parents.
We've been married 3 years now, almost 4. This has happened periodically--probably two or three times a year. Recently I smashed an old computer and a glass because I was frustrated with her unwillingness to talk about a problem she and I had. She deals with anger very differently than I do. Often she tries to go find a place to calm down and cool down and this is more irritation because typically, I want to sit down and discuss the problem rationally--even when I'm all amped up and ready to throw things. Up until now our property damage has been minimal, but I feel fortunate that it hasn't gone beyond that because it easily could.
My best friend D started to date a close mutual friend of my wife and I's named K. This shouldn't be a big deal. Anyway, for whatever reason--still working on this, she is able to trigger the outbursts worse than anyone else in my life. On new years eve she called me a liar in front of my children and I blew up in front of my children and screamed at her to leave for good. The events of that night crippled my friendship with D. I still feel that K was wrong, but I recognize that my anger made things far worse then they had to be. I should have been able to brush it off and move on.
For a long time I didn't believe I had a problem, but now that I've ruined a friendship with someone and frightened my wife and children I really believe I need to change. I don't like having to apologize for my actions/behavior and am deeply embarrassed by what happens yet I feel like I have no control over my reactions particularly when it comes to K and her attacks on my character.
I'm coming here because it is difficult for me to get into a support group or psychological attention due to my work hours and commute time. Any words of encouragement or strategies for dealing with difficult people is welcomed.
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