| | My Story??
When i was about 8-9 i was bullied constantly up to the age of 15.it drove me to leave school.at 16 i met a boy who turned into my husband at 17,i was taken away from my family and i was very lonely,during the marriage i had 8 misscarriages,and went into severe depression,finally i was pregnant,but unbeknown to me my husband didnt want children,so he left me with nothing,13weeks pregnant.i was alone.my life seemed fine until i had a drunken encounter and ended up pregnant again.my family forced me to keep the baby,which i did..... All the way through he pregnancy i was unattached from the baby,and when she was born i didnt want anything to do with her,and started with more depression(postnatal)my mum took her from me and still has her..I MOVED TOO CRESWELL in derbyshire,and met a person who i really loved,but his family didnt approve of me,until i became pregnant..they befriended me so to speak and i was brain washed into thinking an abortion was the right thing to do..i went ahead with it.it was so traumatic i will never forget or get over the pain i feel now..the person and i spilt up..and i was depressed again deeply i felt like a murderer,and i am,my oldest was then diagnosed with ADHD.....my windows were smashed and murderer written in red on them,,,so i moved ....now i am on my own far away from my family,as the place they live is were the person lived who vandalised my house,,my period has stopped i have constant headaches and i have been diagnosed with OCD... so all day i have really bad thoughts about my child being hurt,i have hot flushes all day,and generally dont feel well...i am on cipramil.for my panic attacks,and it is helping,but i just feel useless,to my kid and to my family..who should mention, think i do it for attention??i just need a friend who i can talk who about this,and i need to know im not alone..THANKS.jOANNE
Last edited by ASHEA; 07-22-2004 at 03:40 PM.