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Old 07-22-2004, 03:38 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 57
ASHEA HB User
Unhappy My Story??

When i was about 8-9 i was bullied constantly up to the age of 15.it drove me to leave school.at 16 i met a boy who turned into my husband at 17,i was taken away from my family and i was very lonely,during the marriage i had 8 misscarriages,and went into severe depression,finally i was pregnant,but unbeknown to me my husband didnt want children,so he left me with nothing,13weeks pregnant.i was alone.my life seemed fine until i had a drunken encounter and ended up pregnant again.my family forced me to keep the baby,which i did..... All the way through he pregnancy i was unattached from the baby,and when she was born i didnt want anything to do with her,and started with more depression(postnatal)my mum took her from me and still has her..I MOVED TOO CRESWELL in derbyshire,and met a person who i really loved,but his family didnt approve of me,until i became pregnant..they befriended me so to speak and i was brain washed into thinking an abortion was the right thing to do..i went ahead with it.it was so traumatic i will never forget or get over the pain i feel now..the person and i spilt up..and i was depressed again deeply i felt like a murderer,and i am,my oldest was then diagnosed with ADHD.....my windows were smashed and murderer written in red on them,,,so i moved ....now i am on my own far away from my family,as the place they live is were the person lived who vandalised my house,,my period has stopped i have constant headaches and i have been diagnosed with OCD... so all day i have really bad thoughts about my child being hurt,i have hot flushes all day,and generally dont feel well...i am on cipramil.for my panic attacks,and it is helping,but i just feel useless,to my kid and to my family..who should mention, think i do it for attention??i just need a friend who i can talk who about this,and i need to know im not alone..THANKS.jOANNE

Last edited by ASHEA; 07-22-2004 at 03:40 PM.

 
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Old 07-22-2004, 08:45 PM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Louisville, Ky area
Posts: 173
tgrose HB User
Re: My Story??

Hi. With all that has happened to you, you really need to get into therapy. Meds are great for controlling panic attacks and constant worrying, but the feelings you have about your self worth and who you are, need to be addressed by someone who can help you work through those feelings.

Good luck

 
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