Re: Anger a part of it?
Hi, I understand it all too clearly. Your frustration about things is taken to the next level to allow others to be punished for it. They're your issues, your anger, your thoughts, your frustrations....
Do you have any ways to deal with them? Usually if I'm frustrated about something I feel very stuck, and really hate myself about something. Then, when there's someone handy to get mad at....I lash out at that person instead of myself, displacing my anger onto that person. But, there's a saying that what we dislike in others is what we actually dislike in ourselves. If people are doing something that we either consciously or subconsciously dislike about what we do....we will just voice our opinions about that and eventually feel better.
Well, not feel better...it's a cycle that we get into that is really self defeating.
You could try cognitive behavioural therapy, or seek out a few books that could help you deal with it. One book that's great is "Thoughts & Feelings: taking control of your moods and your life" by Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, Patrick Fanning.
It's a workbook, and it allows you to see that your thoughts are provoking your emotions toward anger in situations, and when your thoughts are brought to a cognitive (understanding) level, you will seek alternative thoughts and ultimately reactions for those situations.
Getting angry is instant relief..it feels good at the moment because extreme feelings are being released quickly. I used to throw things (yes I purposely threw things that were of value to me), slam doors..etc. I've learned through therapy in dealing with MY "Issues"...that I'm responsible how I perceive situations, and I do a lot of assuming. CBT gives you the tools to realise that situations are neutral and our perceptions through experience or mindset are what allows the thoughts that controls our moods.
You're responsible for your anger, you agree? Check out libraries or bookstores on anger and cognitive behavioural therapy to deal with it.
Hope this helps somewhat..
It's all a matter of perspective!
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