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sonalised · 08-08-2004, 04:48 AM

hey, how is everyone? I'm here with questions again...

what happend to me today... we were at the summer house and everythign was fine... but in the evening, I felt a little down... then went to bed... woke up, felt ok... then later... I began to feel crappy... and here is a list of what I was feeling:

-alone
-scared
-worried
-brain full of thoughts (why? what is it? what is wrong with me? am I crazy? is my world 'normal' or am I in my own little world (crazy)?

On the way back home to the city (we were at our summer house), my brain was getting heavier and heavier with thoughts... at home, it all got worse:

- very worried
- is my Mum real? am I alone? I feel alone!
- I am going nuts. I feel I am loosing it...
- brain felt like it was fighting with itself. big pressure. phisical and psychological.
- I was walking from one place to another like a mad person
- I felt like I wasn't there... I felt numb AND crazy AND worried at teh same time...
- the outside world was numb to me in my head
- I couldn't find a lplace for myself
- I was walking from one room to another but I didn't want to... I was just doign it...
- I didnt' want to eat not sleep...
- my brain felt as if they were being squashed...
- I felt like i was going to go crazy and be alone and I was scared of the feelign as I was feeling alone and wierd...

it all felt like some psychotic episode... a really bad one too... this is making me beleave I really am going mental... or have some major mental problems and not just anxiety...

- I stood up to walk but I felt I was going to go crazy... yes... crazy again...

I don't like feeliong this way... I don't want to end up feeling alone and scared of people and even my own family... what is it with me?

WAS this an anxiety attack or was this a psychotic epsidoe? I was fully aware of everything that was happyning to me but yet I was numb and detached from the world.

I wasnted to come to use the internet earlier but I was too scared to leave the hosue...

so now, when it ended... when it ended I felt better and now I feel whole lot better... just still worried as to what it was, waht was happening to me and what will happen in the future... but on the whole, I feel good.

So when it ended, brain felt 'cool' (cold-ish)... relaxed (as it was under a lot of pressure)... and free... I feltvery tired and sleepy and also hungry, which I was at that bad time... it felt like my brain had a big mental war with itself... I don't like these 'episodes'

Anyoen any intput on this?

Thank you.

I wouldn't be so worried about this if I didn't have these thoughts and feeligns like: my Mum is not real (but I know she is), is she my Mum? Are those people real or are they playing tricks with my mind??? I feel a lone and scared and lost and like I don't belong in this world. - this scares me the most as I do not want to loose touch with reality and think that my Mum is fake and be alone and just isolate myself from the world and fel paranoid ALL THE TIME... I DO NOT WANT THIS. But will this happen?? What do you people think? What do you think it was?

Thanks.

08-10-2004, 12:34 PM

Dear Sonalized,

I went back and did a search on your user name to read what's been going on with you. I'm sorry that you're having such a rough time.

Stress and depression can make you feel awful. These two conditions can also give you physical symptoms and sensations like the ones you have been writing about.

In addition, I too suffer from wooziness, and I know how scary that can be. Dizziness can make you feel faint, and funny, and detached, like you're not there. It sounds like you may have an inner ear thing going on - there are many non-fatal conditions that a person can have that would cause a person to feel spinny-dizzy. Sometimes stress and lack of sleep can also make a person feel dizzy, but it's always good to get it checked out.

It sounds like some medication might be a good place to start, to start to feel better. It does sound like you are dealing with a lot of worries about your body and your mental health state.

My advice:

FIRST, do you have a family member you can talk to about everything? Some support from a caring friend or relative would be a very good thing. You need to tell someone who knows you about what's going on.

Then,

#1 Call your doctor and tell him/her EVERYTHING you've stated in these posts. You are still obviously searching for a diagnosis or a reason why you are feeling so out of control. It's not a good feeling to still feel you are sick inside, whether it's physical or emotional. Make it clear to your doctor that you want a "game plan" and a clear explanation of everything that is going on from the examinations to the results.
a. Your doctor can make a referral for you to see a therapist. You may want to see a different therapist, if the one you were seeing wasn't helping you meet your goals. There are great counselors out there who can help you learn to cope with your feelings and fears.
b. Your doctor can make a referral to a neurologist. Neurologists deal with dizzy conditions, and also can check you over for the other physical symtoms that you have been experiencing.

#2 Keep a diary of your symptoms. Many of them sound like you are just under severe anxiety, depression, and exhaustion. It's good to document what is bothering you, every day. Carry a small journal with you and write it in when you feel your bodily symptoms and when you feel nervous. Soon you will be able to see a pattern for your thoughts and symptoms.

#3 If you are still using illicit drugs and drinking alcohol, stop immediately. If you are concerned about withdrawal symptoms, be honest and tell your doctor.

Your doctor and a counselor will be able to help you put together a daily plan or routine in between starting to feel better. But you need to make those calls first to get the ball rolling. Please post back and let us know how things are going. Take good care.

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