Whats Wrong with me? PLS HELP
Hey people. First off a bit of history. I have cystic fibrosis (very bad lung disease often fatal), and diabetes.
I am 27 yrs old and still live with my parents do to my health.
In the past three our four years I have gotten to where most of my life is spent in front of a TV or on a computer. I go out about three times a week, that is OUTSIDE my house ... this is to see my brother or to run errands or go to a college class i have.
Over the years I have developed some things that are scaring the crap outta me.
Things like some Obssessive Compulisive stuff for example,
When I see anything on the tv that is bad to my religious beliefs, i HAVE to ask god to forgive who it was... even tho they are on tv...
I have to pray at night and make sure I Pray about EVERTHING like even things i know cant happen, like every disease being cured... if i dont im get the idea that someoen i know might get one....
This behavior comes and goes and it seems I can make it go away.
Heres another thing...... I CANT STOP DAYDREAMING or making situations in my head..everything causes it.... something said on tv.... something I hear on the radio.... a label i read .. a single thought that goes in my head..
Ill end up talking to myself or just talking in my head not really to myself but just to nothing as if i was having a conversations with someone... kinda like this.. heres an example..
Ill think about a dr or going to talk to one..
I start saying things like this in my head.
I have these symtoms.... blah blah.. kinda like im talking TO the doctor...
but I know hes not there.... and I dont see or hear him like im flippin or anything.. but my head is kinda fuzzy and I cant concentrate on the present.
Its gotten so bad now that I cannot control it... everything casues me to talk and talk and talk in my head... I cannot even watch tv withought doing it. Sometimes its a true daydeam but often its me in sort of a daze where the present is like where im not focusing on it.. but what im talking about...
WHAT THE HELL is wrong with me?????????????
I also have gotten to where I cant feel emotions anymore at all.
everything is just another thought or sentence in my head.
I cant focus to enjoy the weather..... my mind feels fuzy even when looking at the sky...
Its like I have no concentration or emotion.
Then I feel really sad sometimes.... or frustrated... but i CANT feel happy or calm EVER.
Its hard to cry even... my body doesnt want to let me.
I know alot of this is me being alone all the time with no company maybe.
But what are the clinical terms for this?
Ive gotten to where im telling myself i am crazy.
I am going to get help for it next week from a therapist but I am going nuts wondering what is wrong with me
Pls help me someone