Before I even reply, let me tell you that it is hypocritical. I too, should be on meds and am not.
If you can find a daily maintenance med that works for you, it would be best. Wellbutrin is commonly prescribed in conjunction with other meds to help alleviate some of the side effects. I'm not sure how well it works on its own, but it might be useful to ask your doc. If you absolutely can't stand the thought of a daily maintenance med, how about something for severe individual attacks? How did the Xanax work for you? Xanax works great for me with smaller attacks. If it doesn't work for you, check with your doc about other options. For more severe attacks, they prescribed Ativan (Lorazepam) for me. However, docs don't like to prescribe this since it can become addictive. I never became addicted though. If only used to treat severe bouts of anxiety, it's a safe drug. They can also adjust the dose considerably to match your needs. I'd say that more than the meds, you need therapy. That is not meant to be insulting, I hope you don't take it that way. It's just that talking out your problems and fears with someone you know can't tell a soul and won't judge you for it (they've seen far worse) can be extremely helpful. As it is right now, I have no medical insurance and can't even afford the state offered reduced-fee mental health services. I'm currently looking into a bipolar (I don't know if I mentioned I am bipolar as well as GAD plus borderline personality) support group in my area, hoping that I can alleviate some of the stress. Sometimes just talking about it is all you need to help a little. In the meantime, for me, the boards have been extremely therapeutic. There's always someone here with a kind heart, caring soul, and words of encouragement. Please feel free to share anything else that's on your mind, and I will be one of those people.
Wishing You the Best of Luck