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Old 09-19-2004, 08:38 PM   #1
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Anxiety always there

Does anyone else feel like no matter how much progress they make against their anxiety that the memory of it and momentum of it is too much? Its like its been there for so long that it has become a part of you, engrained in your body's functions. It wont go away becuase its been there for so long and you forgot how to be naturally calm and collected. It started with a really bad time in my life and before that I was a calm person but ever since then it has always been there and now my body is always anxious. I have made progress in my anxiety lately but I still feel like its something that wont get out of me. Maybe I just havent given it enough time. A new lifestyle Ive adopted will take time to become natural. I have been doing relaxation techniques and exercing for about three weeks and feel better. Also doing positive thinking and journal writting. I just feel like the memories and symptoms are haunting me, always there to remind me and fuel my anxiety. I feel like a demon is in there and wont let go and release the tension. I wish I could just reset my body and mind and start all over. Wouldnt it be great if we all just had a reset switch and could just get our bodies and minds back to a natural state.

Last edited by tooanxious; 09-19-2004 at 08:51 PM.

 
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Old 09-19-2004, 08:50 PM   #2
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Re: Anxiety always there

I understnad your feelings completley. It is just that, you have to reset your way of thinking. I have accepted that I have to function dysfunctionally. If things go too smooth I get anxiety waiting for what may come about. I do write journals when I can remember and it does help. I have got a few friends that are hilarious and that is my relief. I call them when I am feeling pressure and they crack me up and then I feel ok. You know how people can get ammune to medicine well...it seems I'm getting ammune to anxiety. Put it this way....I would want to vomit if I seen a cockroach and now I can hypervenilate and kill it. I didn't say I was perfect but it's better than puking right?lol I can't let anxiety kill me and ruin what I have left of my life. So I will learn how to involve it as minimally as I can. Good luck to you.

 
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Old 09-19-2004, 09:01 PM   #3
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Re: Anxiety always there

I know what you mean about getting anxiety waiting for something to come. Thats what it is. When you are finally calm then all of a sudden the memory of your anxiety comes back and bam... your anxious again. I guess you sorta of have to reset your way of thinking and wipe out the memories and say I am starting new here and wont go back to my old ways. I can think differently about my symptoms and anxiety and I wont overreact to them anymore.

 
Old 09-20-2004, 02:39 PM   #4
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Re: Anxiety always there

I don't know if this advice will work for you but it is something I have been trying to do for a long time and I have to admit I am still working on it because everything just takes time. I know how you feel about thinking the anxiety is ingraved in your body and now that its there and you are so used to it that it will never leave. I know this sounds corny but you just have to learn to accept it (and this is by no means easy!) I think I and other people suffering from anxiety make things worse by wishing that it would just all go away and wishing that we could have our old lives back and be how we used to be. Before when I had that mindset my life was hell and very depressing. Now I'm in the process of learning to accept my "disabilty" and I've been changing "I hate this damn anxiety disorder it has ruined my life" to "I have this anxiety disorder and it has caused me to change but also has helped me and is still helping me to become a stronger person and embrace all the beautiful things in life". I've actually noticed that my self-esteem and confidence is growing TINY steps at a time. I also recommend checking out some books from the library in the self-help section on things that strike your fancy because I've been reading a lot and it helps me to feel like im not crazy, incapable and weak. We are all in this together and I know that all of you will get through this stupid disorder (or learn to control it) but it just takes time. Don't rush anything.

 
Old 09-22-2004, 12:52 PM   #5
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Re: Anxiety always there

I guess my problem is that I cant accept it. I mean I want to overcome it rather than put up with it. Still for the time being Ill ignore it until I learn better how to manage my body. I know that adding fear to your anxiety only makes things work. So the first step in getting better is to accept your anxiety. I mean it will just take time to get everything back to normal. Once I learn better how to relax and not be anxious things will start to improve. You have to give it time. It took time to screw up ourselves with anxiety and it takes time to get better. Hope that made some sense.

 
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