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Old 09-22-2004, 06:06 PM   #1
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truelyurangel82 HB User
I have a ques on social anxiety

okay i dont think i have social anxiety because it says that you have to be nervous, heart beating fast, sweaty in big group confrontations or even phone calls or social situations. I have none of that. But i dunno do u thnk i have it??? read this..

i am very shy and have been shy since i prob 6. I didnt use to be this way. when i was 4 i would even go up and talk to strangers. AND No nothin tramatic happend in my life. I tend to avoid social situations because im scared of what to say. I have some things on my mind but i cant get them out sometimes. Also sometimes my mind goes blank when someone is trying to talk to me. I hate b eing shy. Its causing me to have no friends. I have no social life whatsoever and this is my fourth year in college. By the way im at college and its 2 and half hours away from home and i get home sick alot. this shyness also makes me depressed from seeing everyone else having friends and going out to parties, eating dinner and then theres just me alone. I want to havea social life but i cant stike up conversations to people in class. I dont even know how students do it lol. I feel like what if they dont want anything to do with me or why is she talking to me. Plus i wouldnt know how to carry a converstion anyway.

Sometimes i feel like ill bore people, so i try to avoid social confrontations too. I feel like such a loser and that im the only shy person in the world.

 
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Old 09-23-2004, 01:01 PM   #2
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hry33 HB Userhry33 HB User
Re: I have a ques on social anxiety

call it shyness if you like but I think it is social anxiety and a book on overcoming SA would have lots of social advice

social conversation is an are that is learned slowly and can be difficult if your family doesnt talk much at home, read out loud from a book when alone, this helps by letting you get used to the sound of your voice, also become a good listener, people like being listened to, finally with social conversation, remember dont try too hard, no one is judging you

 
Old 09-23-2004, 02:19 PM   #3
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Re: I have a ques on social anxiety

As a recovering socially anxious person, I would guess that even without those other symptoms, that you may actually have social anxiety. I've had social anxiety (but didn't know it by that name - I was always called extremely shy) since I was a preschooler. I've been trying antidepressents the last few years - and they've helped my anxiety, too. I would have obsessive worry about things which would make it hard to talk to people, but then I would worry because what were they thinking about about my not talking to them or other thoughts such as: Am I talking too much? Is what I am saying really stupid? What if they hate me? Do I look okay? Am I too fat? And on and on. To get over this, I left home for college - and I was paired up with a roommate for freshman year. She put up with me, and I with her - it became the first real friendship I'd had in several years. We still stay in contact, even though she lives half way across the country. This experience on learning how to talk and listen, and then several years later, with medication (which helps stop the obsessive "worry thoughts" in my head), I am doing very well. I have have moments when thoughts become overwhelming, but I am learning better technqiues for dealing with anxiety and stress. I can now do programs for kids in my job, and I can talk with the public - and I even have friends that I can call on the phone. At age 29, I feel like I am learning skills I should have known half my lifetime ago - but to use the cliche, better late than never. With the help of medication and experience, and just practicing holding a conversation (I've had to make myself do this, intitiate a conversation with another person. . . ) , I don't worry AS MUCH about what the other person may or may not be thinking. Instead, I try to be myself. It took me a long time to realize that I am a good person, though perhaps a little odd at times, and will not be happy if I hide myself from other people.

That said - I still have issues being in huge groups. For instance, I love fairs, but if there are too many people there, I start having feelings of panic. I'm working on this, too.

I must say that when I am anxious for a long time, I begin to exhibit signs of depression - mostly the overwhelming worries eventually make me very tired and sad.

Last edited by storm12; 09-23-2004 at 02:20 PM.

 
Old 09-24-2004, 12:34 PM   #4
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ffsmith HB User
Re: I have a ques on social anxiety

I do not really have a lot of racing heart or panic attacks either. But I do get nervous and I do probably think too much about how others perceive me in social situations.

The big reason why I do not even get too nervous too often is because I avoid everything.
It is hard to get nervous about dating when you never date.
It is hard to get nervous around friends when you do not have friends.

So maybe I do not have Social Anxiety, but my life is so inhibited and restricted that I have no opportunity.

I might as well be in prison or be dead for all that I am ably to do with my life.

Call it Social Avoidance
Call it Failure to Thrive
Call it Lack of Social Maturity
Call it a Failure to Develop Socially?

I do not care what you call it, but it is obvious that I do have a problem and that I do need help.

 
Old 09-24-2004, 12:39 PM   #5
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applecheeks HB User
Re: I have a ques on social anxiety

I know what it's like to feel like you're the only person in the world to feel that way. Trust me..you're not. As of you having social anxiety...I couldn't tell ya.

 
Old 09-24-2004, 06:42 PM   #6
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kjane HB User
Re: I have a ques on social anxiety

I know how you feel. For me, it is a LOT about my perception of what others think of me. I started lexapro and it really helped. I used to do ANYTHING to get out of social events. get "sick", make up a lame story, even just not show up. It just felt so stressful to be at a party or whatever. It's so annoying because after I didn't go to the party I'd be so mad at myself for just sitting in all night with nothing to do. I just would stress about all the "small-talk" you have to make. I still hate that but I am doing a lot better now.

 
Old 09-28-2004, 04:39 PM   #7
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truelyurangel82 HB User
Re: I have a ques on social anxiety

i dont think a book will help me

 
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