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Old 09-24-2004, 03:03 PM   #1
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Confused11 HB User
Fear of having girl friends

I am a 24 yr old female and I think I do have a little bit of social anxiety. Here's the deal I have a ton of guy friends and very few girlfriends. I don't know why that is. Not to sound concieted but I am halfway decent looking and i feel that women see good looking women as mean stuck up you know whats.

At least that is how I take it, once somebody (a woman) talks to me they find out that I am not a mean person but I am an extremely caring and nice person. I guess they have scared me off and i don't even bother. Guys are just more laid back and aren't so high strung. Women can be very mean, and jealous.

I really do want girlfriends though, it was horrible when I broke up with my boyfriend I needed a girls shoulder to cry on, it stunk big time having to talk to my close guy friends about it. They couldn't relate. Does anyone have these feelings too?

 
Old 09-24-2004, 03:07 PM   #2
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Re: Fear of having girl friends

you are not alone. I'm an 18 year old female and find that I get along much better with my guy friends. My best friend who is also my ex boyfriend, is a guy and I find it more comfortable to hang out with him than with my girlfriends. I also find conversation easier with guys. My past experiences I guess have just led me to believe that all girls are competitive and bitchy (which I know they aren't) but I am intimidated by them. Don't worry, you are not alone!

 
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Old 09-24-2004, 04:39 PM   #3
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Re: Fear of having girl friends

Well I"m not bad looking girl I dont care if my friends are good looking or ugly I dont hang out guy's too much only way I hang out with guy's if dating them. I guess I dont have guy's friends really because not alway's good with guy's .Woman can be very jealous and I hate that. Everybody get jealous but I hate people that are jealous alot of other people. I dont have those some feeling but I think girls can be jealous and drive me nuts. I"m 23 to bad we dont lived by each other we could hang out. Do you have any sisters? I have all brothers no sisters I wish I had a sister. MY cousin and friends are so close to their sisters I dont have that.

 
Old 09-24-2004, 09:13 PM   #4
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twizliz HB User
Re: Fear of having girl friends

Most of my friends are male, and it's been that way my whole life. I find that relationships with girls can be more taxing, and little things can be blown way out of proportion. As well as the jealousy factor. It is, however, good to have some female friends. Like you said, when you need a shoulder to cry on... or need a break from the Red Sox! (I'll be happy when the season is over! LOL)

 
Old 10-01-2004, 10:54 AM   #5
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Vintage Wine HB User
Re: Fear of having girl friends

I know where you are coming from. I'm in my 30's, I'm blonde, thin, single and outgoing. I also look young for my age. I have had 3 close female friends viciously turn on me in the last few years all due to one or all of the following:

1. They were having marriage problems and so they hated all single women.
2. They gained weight so they hated thin women
3. They had hormonal problems and mood swings which they refuse to see a doctor about, so they hated themselves, therefore, hating women.

Everytime I meet new people and there are women around, I get shut out, ignored and IF they do speak to me, it's always the same damn thing. "Oh my ****! You are SO skinny" with that bitchy sideways glance.

If they keep bringing it up, I tell them my saga of major, serious health problems. Some of them have usually felt ashamed for their hateful attitude, and start acting nicer but there have been others who were SO hateful and spiteful to the point of me having to leave jobs because of their harrassment.

It's like, they don't give you a chance and they are looking for something to justify their jealously and envy.

I just dropped out of a church choir because no one talked to me. I was friendly, I tried to initiate conversations, I said "hello", I smiled.... but all to no avail...I would just get the cold shoulder.

I made a promise earlier this year that I would only be friends with sincere, secure, people who had a healthy self-image.

Try to do that for yourself. Don't think "it's all you" or that you are the one with the problem...it's their problem.

And yes, guys make the BEST friends!! I have found they are more understanding and easier to talk to than women because there is no "competition" or "underlying jealousy".

And if you need a shoulder, we are here for you! Just post and we'll respond!

Last edited by Vintage Wine; 10-01-2004 at 10:56 AM.

 
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