Please I need help - Anxiety Message Board

LittleRose1982 · 10-25-2004, 01:51 PM

Hello everyone.
I wanted to share my situation and see if anyone could offer some good advice to get me through my days.
I have what I feel is pretty severe anxiety, along with paranoia. I haven't been officially diagnosed but I know something is wrong with me and it's really interfering with my personal relationships.
First of all, I am convinced that there's no one in the world I can trust. I am in a relationship with the most wonderful, kind, caring guy and I cannot get myself to believe within my heart that he isn't going to betray me. I can't get to that comfort point- or realize that there's nothing I can do to guarantee he won't betray me. I am constantly tempted to follow him home from work, and even did it once. He was exactly where he said he'd be. I was so ashamed and mad at myself and my anxiety just got 10 times worse.
Sometimes it comes out of nowhere and I'm just stuck with this horrible feeling in my stomach that makes me dizzy and my head all tingly. I can't eat, sleep, or anything when I have this feeling. Most of the time, though, it's brought on by the constant fear that I'm going to screw my life up- make some stupid decision that I won't be able to bounce back from. I over-think constantly to the point where I make mountains out of mole-hills, and end up stomach sick all day.
I can't get myself to relax and I can't control my breathing. I take short, shallow breaths and sometimes end up in what I'm convinced is a panic attack. I just get extremely hot and sweaty, can't breathe right, can't stand up, and feel like something devastating is happening to me when there's NOTHING even wrong. I am trying to get in to see a doctor but until I can do that, does anyone have any advice on how to stop this? I am so scared I will lose this wonderful man I have in my life because he's hurt that I don't trust him. The slightest little argument will have me convinced that he's going to leave me and my life is over. And all our arguments come from me making up stupid ideas in my mind and pretty much accusing him of things he would NEVER DO. He has every right to hate me for this. And that only makes it worse. I feel so tortured. Can anyone help?

lexdc1 · 10-25-2004, 02:35 PM

Try getting a book on anxiety. They can be really helpful in letting you know what you're going through, and to help you figure out how to solve it.

Hope things get better.

fmor76 · 10-25-2004, 09:23 PM

I can relate to how you are feeling. I too obsess and worry constantly and have anxiety issues because of it.

I would first focus on why you feel that you do not trust your man. Could it be because someone has mistrusted you in the past? Or have you felt abandoned or alone that this may reflect back on your relationship? My point is, maybe if you could focus on why your having these feelings it may help you to figure out how to solve them. I too have problems with feeling needy because i'm scared of being alone... and I am always scared my husband may leave me. I know I'm scared of being alone because of some things in my past that caused me to be this way, so now I really talk myself through it before I make a comment to him or start some issue with him. Thinking each thought through before you make a comment to him may help you resolve it within yourself before you put it on him... think the thought through, realize that you have this thought because of something that you are going through, not because he did anything to cause this thought.

I hope you find peace in your life and try to enjoy it. Thats what I keep trying to tell myself.... I'm only young once, I'll only be able to enjoy this one moment that i'm experiencing once, so try to enjoy each experience and take it for whats its worth.

bigredjen · 10-25-2004, 09:41 PM

The only thing I have to offer is that you are not alone. It was almost nice to read that someone else was going through something so similar as myself. At the same time, I don't wish it on anyone so I am sorry that you are dealing with something so confusing as this. My situation is somewhat different, but it involves my relationship with my boyfriend and anxiety and a couple of panic attacks and freaking out everyday obsessing over any possible thing that I can think of, only because I'm trying so hard NOT to think of them. I have been trying to get through this for about a year and it only seems to get worse. The only thing that has really helped me is going to therapy. I"ve gone 3 times now and my boyfriend has come with me once. He is so supportive and willing to keep trying. He is coming with me again this Wednesday and I can hardly wait because I know that we are only getting closer to figuring this all out! For me, a lot of my worries have come because of past experiences that have formed my belief of relationships and my own self-worth. Working through these things have been the answer for me except its not over yet. But you know, just getting help in isolating the problem, so that we can finally work on it, has been the biggest blessing so far.
I wish you the best. It is real and it is hard. Please don't give up.

hry33 · 10-26-2004, 04:05 AM

to little rose
your short shallow breaths will increase your anxiety and can cause a panic attack, you must take deep breaths and breathe slowly
a long soak in a hot bath is very relaxing, valium type meds also relax the muscles