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Old 01-20-2005, 08:08 PM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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finallypretty HB User
Tell Me What This Is

Hi I just wanted you guys to help me understand what mental condition I may have. Oh sure of course I will make an appt. with a psychotherapist soon but for now, I'm curious as to know what mental condition I may have and I would like you guys to help me and tell me what you think I may be suffering from. I will explain my condition below and please DO NOT HESITATE TO REPLY. Thanks

My everyday life goes like this. I AM SECLUDED IN MY HOUSE. I don't go out of my house at all. For fear of people not liking me. For fear that everybody is judging me. For fear that everyone is telling me that I do not belong here on earth and that they want me to leave. I am always hearing or feeling in my head that nobody loves me. And which I feel must be true cause I have no friends. Well I have this guy friend but it is not the same anymore so basically I have no friends. I HAVE NO FAMILY. After what these people put me through growing up, I would rather say I have no family even though they are alive and well. I do not go over to their house. I stay away because they laugh at me and tell me I am crazy. And what is so crazy is that if I am crazy, it's because those {REMOVED}put me that way. My father always told me that I would never mount to anything and that no man would ever marry me. My mother always called me a {REMOVED}and they always laugh at me and well its pretty depressing so I don't want to keep talking about that cause i could feel the tears coming down right now.

So anyway and because I hate going out for these reasons above,
I HARDLY WORK. I am always calling in the night before to say I am not available for work. Fortunately the kind of job I have is an on-call job where I can work whenever I want otherwise I would have been fired by now. I fear going to work and whenever I am around people I panic and get scared. And it seems like I care what people think too which I don't like. I alos become very weak in my own home to the point where I can't even do house work.
I don't know if its the depression draining my energy or what but I know that I don't have the get up and go in my own house. I am always just sitting down and watching tv.

Also I pick my hair alot. Half of my hair is bald from picking it out.
Also, one minute I am alright and the next minute I am severely depressed {REMOVED}I mean the depression hits so hard and I feel so hopeless and that everybody is out to get me {REMOVED}
Then the next minute maybe tomorrow I will be ok probably again but for how long.

Also, right now i have pelvic pains in my abdomen I don't know what from and I have a small cyst on my ovary plus I have severy pains on my right side I think where the liver is and I don't really even want to go to the doctor. then I have pains in my left breast. Anyway I have been to the cardiologist and has had stress tests and thallium stress test which I failed. I am only
34 years old woman.

{REMOVED} Whatever it is. Anyway this is basically what is going on with my life. I want to get plastic surgery to help me improve my self esteem but the way things are going, I hope that I can make it in time to get it.

Anyway please guys tell me what you think I may have and tell me what do you think I should do. Also please if anyone of you guys are experiencing anything very similar to what I have written please do share. I want to connect with someone who is going through similar what I am going through. If you are not going through what I am going through but you know someone that is, please do tell me and tell me. Ok guys I await your answers. Thanks

Last edited by ms_mod; 01-20-2005 at 09:03 PM. Reason: Inappropriate comment...if you are having these kinds of thoughts please seek Professional help, if you have to use**in place of a word then that word doesn't belong on this board.

 
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Old 01-21-2005, 09:08 AM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 110
Meridith HB User
Re: Tell Me What This Is

You sound very depressed and full of anxiety. You really need to tell a Dr. how you feel and there is a name for pulling out your hair and I can't think of it right now. You have legitimate problems that you should see the Dr an perhaps get into counseling on a regular basis. Your family does not sound very loving, so it is probably better that you have detached from them. I am certain that you are a good person and I am glad that you are reaching out. Are you currently taking any medication? Let me know.

 
Old 01-21-2005, 09:24 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 58
Jugi HB User
Re: Tell Me What This Is

Dear pretty -

Please, please do seek the help of a good therapist. You do NOT have to live this way, and it is not your fault. It certainly sounds like you have some anxiety and/or depression issues that you need to get straightened out, and, trust me, you are not the only one that feels the way that you do. A good therapist will combine therapy with medication - there are many possible meds out there that may help you. It will be very good for you to talk to someone and tell them your feelings about your family. If they are verbally abusive, it is probably a good thing for you to cut yourself off from them, and a good therapist can teach you how to deal with those issues.

Good luck and please keep us updated.

 
Old 01-21-2005, 12:15 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: melbourne, vic, aust
Posts: 7,380
hry33 HB Userhry33 HB User
Re: Tell Me What This Is

Hi finally
sounds loke depression and anxiety, an antidepressant med could be tried these often help
your parents sound horrible, although they may actually mean well, they just say things the wrong way
getting a dog may help you a lot, it often does for people with your problems, the dog will need to be taken for walks by you and this will get you out and about
theres info on the net about dealing with hairpulling, its an anxiety condition

stay with us and read all the posts

 
Old 01-21-2005, 12:35 PM   #5
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 40
natalie_ogle HB User
Re: Tell Me What This Is

I'm am so sorry that you feel this way pretty. I suffer from anxiety and depression also and I also hair pull. It is called trichotillomania. It's from anxiety and I think it is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder too. It is not your fault that you feel this way. I have been on meds which have helped me alot but there are still some things I cannot do comfortably. It is really hard because I am 19 and this is supposed to be the funnest time of my life (supposively). Also, your family does sound like people I would not want to stay in touch with and I give you a TON of respect and credit for hanging in there without the support from family and friends. I really only have one friend but my family has certainly kept me hopeful in my struggling times. I suggest that you find a good psychiatrist who you feel comfortable with and get started on some medication because it will certainly ease the intensity of these feelings if you find the right med for you. Like the other people suggested, I think you should go to a therapist so you have someone real you can share your feelings, struggles, and pain with. Like hry33 suggested, I also think it would be a good idea to get some sort of pet like a dog or a cat. I have a cat and it's so nice having her there when I feel like I'm all alone in this world. It will also give you something to care for and love. I am really glad that you are reaching out for help because it takes a lot of courage. You are definitly not alone. I hope this helps God bless.

 
Old 01-22-2005, 01:05 PM   #6
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,597
Jennita HB User
Re: Tell Me What This Is

Quote:
Originally Posted by finallypretty
Hi I just wanted you guys to help me understand what mental condition I may have. Oh sure of course I will make an appt. with a psychotherapist soon but for now, I'm curious as to know what mental condition I may have and I would like you guys to help me and tell me what you think I may be suffering from. I will explain my condition below and please DO NOT HESITATE TO REPLY. Thanks

My everyday life goes like this. I AM SECLUDED IN MY HOUSE. I don't go out of my house at all. For fear of people not liking me. For fear that everybody is judging me. For fear that everyone is telling me that I do not belong here on earth and that they want me to leave. I am always hearing or feeling in my head that nobody loves me. And which I feel must be true cause I have no friends. Well I have this guy friend but it is not the same anymore so basically I have no friends. I HAVE NO FAMILY. After what these people put me through growing up, I would rather say I have no family even though they are alive and well. I do not go over to their house. I stay away because they laugh at me and tell me I am crazy. And what is so crazy is that if I am crazy, it's because those {REMOVED}put me that way. My father always told me that I would never mount to anything and that no man would ever marry me. My mother always called me a {REMOVED}and they always laugh at me and well its pretty depressing so I don't want to keep talking about that cause i could feel the tears coming down right now.

So anyway and because I hate going out for these reasons above,
I HARDLY WORK. I am always calling in the night before to say I am not available for work. Fortunately the kind of job I have is an on-call job where I can work whenever I want otherwise I would have been fired by now. I fear going to work and whenever I am around people I panic and get scared. And it seems like I care what people think too which I don't like. I alos become very weak in my own home to the point where I can't even do house work.
I don't know if its the depression draining my energy or what but I know that I don't have the get up and go in my own house. I am always just sitting down and watching tv.

Also I pick my hair alot. Half of my hair is bald from picking it out.
Also, one minute I am alright and the next minute I am severely depressed {REMOVED}I mean the depression hits so hard and I feel so hopeless and that everybody is out to get me {REMOVED}
Then the next minute maybe tomorrow I will be ok probably again but for how long.

Also, right now i have pelvic pains in my abdomen I don't know what from and I have a small cyst on my ovary plus I have severy pains on my right side I think where the liver is and I don't really even want to go to the doctor. then I have pains in my left breast. Anyway I have been to the cardiologist and has had stress tests and thallium stress test which I failed. I am only
34 years old woman.

{REMOVED} Whatever it is. Anyway this is basically what is going on with my life. I want to get plastic surgery to help me improve my self esteem but the way things are going, I hope that I can make it in time to get it.

Anyway please guys tell me what you think I may have and tell me what do you think I should do. Also please if anyone of you guys are experiencing anything very similar to what I have written please do share. I want to connect with someone who is going through similar what I am going through. If you are not going through what I am going through but you know someone that is, please do tell me and tell me. Ok guys I await your answers. Thanks
You are suffering from horrible heartless parents syndrome and it has caused you to fear judgement of others, degrades your own self-worth and causes some self-destructive behaviors like pulling out your hair.

Now, the terms for this stuff are anxiety, OCD, depression, social anxiety disorder, etc. but the cause is still from horrible heartless parents syndrome. This syndrome is something I just made up but seems to fit the bill.

Since you have physically cut yourself off from them, now do it psychologically. Reject everything they taught you and go for self-improvement and confidence just to throw it in their face. This may take alot of counseling to accomplish but I think you can do it...

 
Old 01-22-2005, 09:24 PM   #7
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: canada
Posts: 87
islandkate HB User
Re: Tell Me What This Is

Please do not blame this all on your parents. Mabee you had a bad childhood, thus , no support. But as another board member suggested, " it all comes from your parents " is WRONG. I do not have any of my 4 kids with probs .I have anxiety and mostly panic attacks, but have friends who have anxiety/OCB/and depression. And they are in in thier late 30's to 40ish and they do not blame childhood , OR parents. They had great parents......well , as sane as parents can be raising children!! LOL! It is a chemical imbalance and sometimes, which is my case , with panic attacks, hereditary. My Mother, 2 aunts, grandfather and sister all have the same problem on the Maternal side..........

Last edited by islandkate; 01-22-2005 at 09:27 PM.

 
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