Need Some Advice About Anxiety/Panic And Ativan
I posted a few days ago about how l-theanine the chemical in green tea helping my anxiety. Well it worked for a few hours but later that night I had a massive panic attack so I guess that doesnt work......
Anyway here I am and my panic and anxiety is not going away anytime soon it seems. I was a hardcore weed smoker since I was 13 (im 28 now) and drank booze almost daily until 2 years ago when I totally quit drinking. Since Im trying to study for a new career the weed was making studying harder and I decided to quit. About a week after quitting weed I started having these panic attacks and anxiety that would just not let up. It has been a living hell and I dont really know what to do about it besides taking ativan.
I have always had panic and anxiety attacks since I was about 14 and had a bad "trip" after using inhalants one summer. For about 4 years after that I didnt like to be alone and nearly everynight I would have panic.
Similarly when I quit boozing after a massive month long drunk I had severe anxiety and panic but I assumed that was all from booze and it went away in a few days after I detoxed from booze.
The first week I quit weed I was ok. I dont know if this panic is from my dopamine and other "pleasure centers" bottoming out but all I know is this SUCKS and I dont know if its going away. Its been about 3 weeks since I quit smoking weed but even if I was to smoke some weed (which I DO NOT want to do) I know it would probably send me into panic for the simple fact that weed sometimes did that to me and the fact that I haven't smoked in so long I would get totally stoned and freak out because any other time I quit for more than a few days (longest ever was 3 weeks), I would get blasted the first few times I smoked and usually freak out.
So heres my problems. I went to the ER about 2 days after the panic started because I constantly feel like I cant breathe and have "air hunger". The ER doc said anxiety and gave me 15 1mg ativans. I know how addictive these things are but so far nothing has worked to relieve this. Ive tried kava, and just trying to be "Strong willed" but it ain't helping. Last night I was such a wreck I had to break down and take 1mg because I could no longer take the anxiety that was invading my mind.
I went to my regular doctor at a clinic (because I have no insurance), and she gave me some buspar which did nothing and I still had panic and it made me very nauseous so I threw them out. I was doing everything in my power to will this painic away but it wouldnt work. Im a strong minded person and have always thought anyone that needed "head pills" was just weak minded and couldnt control themselves mentally. Boy am I eating my words now.
Anyhow. Im down to my last 2 1mg ativans. a half a mg usually calms me down pretty good so far unless its severe like last night and I have to take 1mg. I called the doctor office last night on friday about 430 (they close at 5) the "nurse" there said the doc had left and she would possibly come in tomorrow and would leave a message on her desk. its after 12 now and no call yet.
I dont plan on taking anymore buspar and no way am I taking something like paxil. these ativans work so far thats all I know. Plus I dont have to take them on a regular sechedule (yet).
My dad has been on 4mg of xanax daily for panic for 20 years and is severly addicted to them. his dosage has not gone up in 10 years but he still needs them regardless.
Anyway, how many people think this panic is just because my "pleasure centers" are out of whack from years of drugs and booze? Im totally clean now and until now have never been completely clean of drugs.
I have been taking these ativans very sparingly and trying to fight this but Ive came to the conclusion that at least right now its the ONLY thing that is helping.
Anyone think that this panic will go away or do you think Im stuck with this?? I hope to god it goes away but as of right now I dont know. We will have to see.
Please dont start complaining about how addictive ativan is because I know that already. That is nothing new. I guess what Im asking is who thinks I will "get over" this or am I stuck with it?????