I feel like anxiety is running my life - Anxiety Message Board

twizliz · 05-23-2005, 02:22 PM

I have been going through a tough time as of late.. my best friend's mom died, and my fiance just broke up. I have always had problems with anxiety, but now it's run rampant. After getting out of the relationship I remembered things that had happened during it, like verbal, physical and sexual abuse. I have had a few tough weeks behind me.. a lot of ups and downs. Today was one of the downs. I had dreams all night about him hitting me, and woke up with a horrible anxiety attack. I called out to work and went to see my therapist. He had me do some visulization exercises. One was for me to confront the girl that I was when I was with him. This has really tormented me all day, I can't talk (or type) about it without crying or having a panic attack. I went to see my regular doctor today and had another horrible panic attack to the point of nearly passing out. I had to call my friend to come pick me up because I was in no condition to drive. I am taking xanax .5 and paxil 60 mg. My therapist wants me to start doing yoga to work with my breathing exercises, and eventually come off the paxil. I don't feel as though the paxil is doing anything at all. I'm just afraid that my anxiety will ruin and run, my life.

woodfaery · 05-23-2005, 02:44 PM

twizliz, oh my gosh, I am so sorry for all that you have been going through. I am sorry for the loss of your loved one, your bestfriends mom. As well no, one deserves what you went through with your past fiancee. I think that your best friend could truly benefit from you being there for her or him right now--you sound like such a kind person. Maybe she or he (your bestfriend)can be there for you as well? I think that is so good you are seeing a therapist, hows that going? Do you think that it has been helpful? Has your doctor mentioned other antidepressants? There is Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, and other ssri's. One of them may be better for you than the Paxil. Sometimes you have to try and find through trial or error which medication is best. Also, you can take xanax when you start them. It sounds like you have GAD, is that what you have been diagnosed with? If you start a new med, it should take up to 4 weeks or less to start working but you can take xanax too with it once a day. My heart goes out to you, I hope you keep working with your therapist or doctor to find a good balance. As a fellow sufferer of anxiety and depression I do understand this is not an easy road. Right now I have been taking a medication that has been extremely helpful and all in all I have found relief finally. Best wishes to you, and please keep in touch on these boards I know I can honestly say people care here and have helped so much, and I care too and this is an excellent support place to turn to.
WF

twizliz · 05-23-2005, 02:53 PM

Thank you so much for you kind words, Woodfaery. I am trying to do the best for my friend, which makes me feel better. This weekend she is coming to see me (we were roommates in college as well.) My mom and I are taking her to Foxwoods (a casino near us) so that she can have some fun time, and so that she could have something to look forward to. We always said that we had two moms... my own and hers, and she felt the same way. She wrote my mom a note saying how wonderful she was, and that my mom was a second mom to her. My friend, Meg, has always been there for me, and I feel that this is the least that I can do for her. Plus it will be nice going away and staying in a hotel for a night.

I have tried Zoloft and Lexapro to disasterious results, while on Zoloft I almost killed myself, and Lexapro made me really anxious. I suppose I could try Celexa, but I worry about having a bad time with them. My therapist is a psychologist, so he cannot prescribe anything, but my gp and he are willing to work together, so I hope that that they will able to find a drug that works for me.

Liz

Jitterygal · 05-23-2005, 02:54 PM

I had to take a couple of different meds before I got on Paxil. So don't be afraid to try something different...Yoga would definitely be a great thing for you, because it teaches the deep belly breathing--I have learned this technique when I start feeling panicky, and it staves off the attack! I took Klonopin .5mg for a little while until my body adjusted to the Paxil, and it really helped...

I plan to get off this med in the next year, because now I am almost in remission after taking it for a year (I HATE medicine!!!). I hope the same for you.

Jitterygal

twizliz · 05-24-2005, 03:53 PM

I'm so excited for you that you're coming off the meds, congrats! I hope someday I can too. I don't feel like paxil just isn't cutting it anymore, but I'm afraid to switch because of the horrible things that happen when I do. I know this sounds crazy, but do you think that if I were to switch, my dr would let me be in the hospital (not a mental institution or anything) so if I do have the really bad side effects, someone would be there for me and know what was going on.