Need support please! - Anxiety Message Board

ncgal · 06-23-2005, 12:25 PM

I tend to overgeneralize & magnify every problem in my life. Mostly I fear letting others down! Ive had a series of events happen in my life where I have changed my mind quite a bit. I tend to change my mind & change direction when my circumstances change. I feel that people cant depend on me because Im unstable & I let my circumstances rule me instead of me being in control. Anyone else?

hry33 · 06-23-2005, 01:37 PM

I think we all get these feelings at times, but dont be so demanding of yourself

mjewell · 06-23-2005, 01:58 PM

I am exactly the same way. In fact it is that thinking that raises my anxiety. When I feel obligated to go out and do something, my anxiety level goes through the roof. In reality, I am not obligated to do ANYthing I don't want to, and I know that, but thats not the problem. The problem for me is the fear of letting others down when they are depending on me. For example, work gives me anxiety because I am obligated to be there and I feel incredibly guilty if I call in sick or something since I am not there to help out, and I feel like people think I'm a flake. When we have family gatherings, if i feel anxious or sick I don't want to go but feel like I have to otherwise my family will think I don't like them, etc etc. The list goes on and on.

My husband and my family have to remind me every once in a while that I am an adult and I can do whatever I want and I shouldn't care what others think of me. If they are the kind of people I want to be around, they will be understanding of my situation. Also, it is important to remember to put yourself first and take care of yourself, because if things get worse you won't be able to fulfill any obligations to anyone.

Comptons · 06-23-2005, 02:15 PM

mjewell - unfortunately most of us don't have the family support that you seem to have with your husband - that's terrific. Mine is usually the one wanting to go on vacation, etc... I've been handling it fine lately, but sometimes it can make me really anxious. You just have to make yourself go and try to busy your mind with something. I don't know about ya'll but I find it very hard to sit still and relax - which is why I dread going to parties, vacation, etc. When I'm home I can busy myself around the house and keep my mind occupied.

mjewell · 06-23-2005, 02:30 PM

I can relate, my husband is supportive but regardless he does not realize the depth of the problem. As we've all said before, you can never fully understand it until you've gone through it. He is understanding to a point, but he is a very social, active and outgoing person, and if I continuied to back out of social situations and stuff we would have problems, so I do force myself to do things a lot for his sake. I guess thats a good thing...I don't want to miss out on life because of this, but it is very hard.