I have always been shy, but the last few years have been painful. Everyday before and during school I feel like my heart has lept up into my throat. I usually only speak only a few words each day at school and I have no friends. This has been the cause of a depression, and I am still quite young, so I have been denied any medication because of possible side-effects. I hate having to struggle to live a normal life. I am so afraid of taking part in activities that other people my age consider part of their lifestyle. I wish that my heart beat would slow down when people look at me, or that my mind would become clear. I wish I could stop holding myself back.
I don't know what to do
sounds like its just shyness, you eventually should grow out of it
try breathing deep and slow when anxious this should help
let your heart do whatever it wants to and try to ignore it
you need to learn new ways of calming and relaxing yourself
are there any counsellors you can see? valium as needed would help, an antidepressant med often reduces shyness and anxiety but you may be too young for one
Thanks for the response..
I've seen a counsellor but she just told me to join The Boys and Girls Club, but she didn't understand that it isin't that easy for me. I have also been to therapy a few times and my therapist told me I have social anxiety. My parents bought me 5-HTP, the "natural" anti-depressant, but I don't feel that I benefit much from it and I would be better off on a perscribed madication.
You sound very shy and your anxiety about it is making you have other problems...am I right? Sometimes, forcing yourself to join something like a club or a team is the hardest part, but if you can do it, then you find the people are nice and soon you have more friends and you start feeling better about yourself. I really think this is a good idea for you.
I read about your eating problems and it sounds like you are using food to comfort yourself, much like people use drugs or alcohol when they are older. 3000 calories is too much and 600 is way too little (the very lowest you should ever go is 1200). If you are going to count calories, you should stay around 2000.
You should be under a doctor's care. I agree that anti-depressants aren't the answer and the side effects can be dangerous for young people. If you had a prescription for Xanax or Klonopin or something like that, that your parents could make sure you take properly, that might help you through this rough time. Good luck and remember to smile...people respond positively to friendly people and they'll seem less scary that way.