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Old 08-28-2005, 03:33 PM   #1
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missy101 HB User
Does anyone else feel..

Like they could actually deal with the panic attacks better if they were able to convince themselves it was indeed just panic?

A couple years ago I made HUGE strides in my anxety/panic. My therapist even told me that I didnt need her services anymore. Then I had the SVT episode..was diagnosed after 8 years..told it was probably SVT and not panic all that time..and bam. All that work down the drain. I trusted no one. I couldnt understand. Why did all the words written about panic fit me so perfectly? Because I DID have panic disorder thats why. Its just that my anxiety was likely caused by years of my heart going looney. Anywho..after being medicated I was great. Since most of my attacks were triggered by my heart sx, my anxiety went bye bye for the most part. Then a couple months ago I started having this huge fear of death and went back into therapy. I have serious health and existential anxiety. And just this past week or so panic attacks came back. Man am I ******!! When ever I feel anything strange (which is alot - Dr thinks I may have FM or CFS) or uncomfortable no matter how minor or brief, I automatically catastrophize. Today I had a blood clot in my neck. Friday I had a pulmonary embolis. And it is like I cannot convince myself that something isnt physically wrong. For years they told me nothing was wrong with my heart even tho I insisted. What if everyone is wrong now?? This is what I keep thinking. I have been taking .50 - .75 mg of ativan a day for the past 5 days. Usually it is .25 mg a day IF that. This is getting out of hand. I take .25 of klonopin before bed, but this may need adjusting. I see the Dr on Tuesday. Anyway, I really feel like if I could get over this hump of thinking there is something really dangerous wrong with me, then I can handle the panic attacks. But I have to believe that they ARE just panic attacks. Do you know what I mean?? I have been working on some CBT exercises regarding self talk and that does help..but I am having a hard time really believing my rational responses. Sorry..I keep going ona nd on. I am just having a hard time...

 
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Old 08-28-2005, 03:39 PM   #2
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missy101 HB User
Re: Does anyone else feel..

One more thing..since I feel better after taking an ativan..shouldnt that convince me that it is anxiety. I mean, if it were a blood clot, stroke, heartattack, or cancer..ativan wouldnt help..right?????

 
Old 08-28-2005, 04:30 PM   #3
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faeriegirl25 HB User
Re: Does anyone else feel..

Cheers,
I can totally relate with you. I agree that if I could convince myself that its anxiety when I have panic attacks, I wouldn't have them either. I have dealt with panic attacks for over 10 years and have had 2 relapses. I know what its like to be so anxious that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING can mean something must be wrong.
I can honestly say this with confidence.. if you were having a heart attack, stroke or something else, it wouldn't go away. I used to think that I was having a heart attack everytime my heart would race. I drove myself to the brink of insanity trying to analyze every symptom that I had. I even visited the ER numerous times.. and by the time I got there, guess what.. every symptom was gone and I was left feeling like I was insane. I soon realized that it was all just anxiety. I told myself this: " You weren't having chest pains 5 minutes ago until you started worrying.. "
I am currently going through therapy and I have been working on self-talk as well. I have been writing the negative thought down, followed by a counterstatement... and believe me, it has been so hard to believe what I write. Its taken awhile before I believed it.. now I rarely have to write any thoughts down, I just automatically insert the counterstatement in my head.

Hang in there hun, I know how difficult all of this is.

Take Care
Fae

 
Old 08-28-2005, 04:31 PM   #4
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SRMom HB User
Re: Does anyone else feel..

Cheers44:

Right, I agree.

On Friday I had an anxiety attack out of nowhere and for a few minutes I thought it was a heart attack (my Dad died of a heart attack, so I always think I'll have one). Anyway, I have panic disorder, so I knew it was probably too much anxiety and I took a Xanax. I knew if I still felt that bad in 20 minutes, it might be my heart. Of course I felt great after the Xanax kicked in and then I knew it was just another episode of my anxiety creeping up on me. I really never think I have anything serious anymore usually, and I just automatically think I'm too wound up. I've been doing this for years and I guess I'm just used to it.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 05:37 AM   #5
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Marirose HB User
Re: Does anyone else feel..

Hi everybody~I have the exact same problem you do. I actually have been dx'd with Fibromyalgia,so, like you, I do have a lot of strange things going on and even being dx'd with FM (my mom & my brother have it, my deceased uncle had it too and when I tell them how I feel, they say "oh yeah, me too"), having assurance from family and members on the FM board that they experience my same symptoms, and being dx'd with anxiety, I STILL have trouble believing it is JUST anxiety. I have been working on this for years - and while that sounds depressing, it isn't really, because I seem to go through spells - if this were constant, I would probably be out of my mind by now. But, I think you are on the right track with self talk - keep reminding yourself about how if your symptoms were "real" symptoms of a deadly condition, they would be progressing. My "disease of the day" is liver disorder, because my dad is dying from Hep C - I have no symptoms or risk factors for it, but I do get FM pain over my ribs sometimes, and I can spend days and nights worrying about my liver. My husband (kind soul that he is) keeps reminding me of what bad shape my dad is in - that sounds awful, but comparing myself with someone who actually has the disease I fear (today ) makes me realize how silly my worries are.

One book that has really helped me is "hope and help for your nerves" by Dr. Claire Weekes. It discusses how to "stop turning the anxiety screws" on yourself...I have found it very useful. Maybe you want to check it out.

Anyway, hope this helps a little...It helps me to know others are out there feeling like this. Best wishes for a good day, Marirose

 
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