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Old 08-29-2005, 12:04 PM   #1
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anxietysucks HB User
Do You Hide Your Anxiety Problems for Fear of Embarassment of Misunderstanding?

I try in vain to explain it to my husband, grown children and co-workers. Nobody understands it. They just remember that I was always such a strong, independent problem solver, and I think they just can't understand why I have to take a pill. They can't understand how I went from that person to who I am now. Heck, I wish I knew myself. I'd love to be enlightened. It's so frustrating that when I'm having an attack, I have to "sneak" in my purse to grab a pill. I feel like a little kid doing something wrong.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 12:39 PM   #2
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Re: Do You Hide Your Anxiety Problems for Fear of Embarassment of Misunderstanding?

welcome
theres nothing wrong abiut taking a pill for a panic attack, I expect you have some valium type meds, they are still the best for panic attacks and work fastest if disolved under the tongue

panic attacks arent a sign of weakness
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Old 08-29-2005, 01:55 PM   #3
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Re: Do You Hide Your Anxiety Problems for Fear of Embarassment of Misunderstanding?

anxietysucks, you are in my brain today I swear. I also "hide" taking my Xanax, I don't want my hubby to know I am taking it just to go out to dinner with him or to go pick up something at the grocery store. I am not ashamed that I have to take it per se, but I am ashamed that I have to take it to go do mundane things like a quick trip to pick up food or something.

But, think of it this way...how often do you see people taking pills? Probably so much but you don't even realize it because you don't think anything of it. i see lots of people taking prescriptions all day long, and i never think twice. i also see people popping aspirin all the time. I guess its different when people know you are taking Xanax, cause then they know you are anxious, but my theory is, if you need it take it.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 01:58 PM   #4
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Re: Do You Hide Your Anxiety Problems for Fear of Embarassment of Misunderstanding?

hi anxietysucks-----had the same problem for years. nobody understood or tried to. i now have post traumatic stress disease. you should see me try to explain that when my mind leaves my body for a few minutes. people close to me are starting to understand and notice the signs when i am starting to shut down. i am also starting to notice the triggers. when i start to feel panicky i pop a klonopin. i couldn't care less where i am or who's looking. i care about getting rid of the horrible feeling. please don't feel bad. anxiety is bad enough without having to be anxious about the treatment. nobody wants to feel like this. my best to you.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 02:08 PM   #5
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Re: Do You Hide Your Anxiety Problems for Fear of Embarassment of Misunderstanding?

anxietysucks:

Wow...I think you've said very well how many of us feel. There is such a stigma (still) about our illness. We look fine and people assume if we look fine, we shouldn't need that pill. I still feel ashamed and embarrassed when I pick up my meds at the drug store. I feel like they are all talking about me behind the counter, judging me. I have stopped talking about it with my extended family too, because of how I hear them judge other people in my situation. Thank goodness my husband is supportive. I bet yours is too. Please don't be ashamed of taking that pill you need. If it were for your heart, you'd take it with no problem right? Try to think of it that way. We're all here for you.

-SRMom

Last edited by SRMom; 08-29-2005 at 02:09 PM.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 05:05 PM   #6
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Re: Do You Hide Your Anxiety Problems for Fear of Embarassment of Misunderstanding?

Hi Anxietysucks, welcome

I know I hide my anxiety and "true feelings" away from my boyfriend because I'm afraid of driving him away. And when I'm with people I act like a totally different person, and not how I'm feeling. Then usually I can only take so much before I have to find a place to be alone and ball my eyes out. The more I hold it in, the worse the attack is. I really dont know how to fix it. Does the Xanax seem to help you? Because if you take a pill and it actually helps you then thats great. I still cant find one right for me. I think alot of people just dont know how to react to something like that unless they actually have experienced them before. Because while you're having an attack it doesn't register in your head that it will end or get better. For me, I feel like I'm going to die. And when people that have been around me while having attacks know logically that it will pass, so when I have one thats what they tell me, "Dont worry, it will pass" which never helps, just makes me angry. So I've had to start dealing with it by myself, which is soooooo hard. How often do you get attacks?
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Old 08-30-2005, 05:36 AM   #7
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Re: Do You Hide Your Anxiety Problems for Fear of Embarassment of Misunderstanding?

Derangea - I get attacks every morning when I wake up. I can stand it for as long as 30 minutes, and then I have to take a Xanax. It's like Mjewell said, I get them completely out of the blue. Unlike some whose anxiety is brought on by worrying over health issues, mine can come just going to the grocery store, or driving down the road listening to the radio. I've tried all the "self help" methods....taking walks, taking deep breaths, soaking in a hot bath, etc. They say to try to hold on for the 30 minutes it can take to pass, but when you feel like you're going to go insane or jump out of your skin, I'd rather just take a Xanax. I have made it to 30 minutes and it's still there, so I just take a Xanax and it goes away. Just like different medicines work for different people, none of these methods work for me. I hate to say it because I sound like an addict, but I am SOOOOOOO thankful for the Xanax, and I never leave home without it. I often wonder if maybe there doesn't have to be a stressful situation that brings it on. Maybe its just plain and simple a chemical malfunction. Maybe thats why for me it comes on out of the blue?

I would just like to say without sounding corny, I am so thankful I found all of you. Finally I don't feel like a freak.

 
Old 08-30-2005, 09:30 AM   #8
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Re: Do You Hide Your Anxiety Problems for Fear of Embarassment of Misunderstanding?

Hi anxietysucks:

Mine come out of the blue too, ususally only in my car, but when I was at my worst a few years ago, it happened in grocery stores, at my desk at work, Home Depot, etc. Now it's just my car. My doctor thinks I have a phobia about driving, but the only thing he is good for is writing my prescriptions. I have never been helped by a doctor for this problem otherwise. I haven't been able to drive on the freeway for ten years. I've tried, but I had a full-blown panic attack last time I tried about a year ago. I can still drive around town, thankfully, but I have bad days. I'll go outside and the sun will seem too bright, or things around me will seem a little dreamy, and I know when I get in that car, it won't be good. That's when I reach in my purse and take that pill (usually only half of .5 mg). I still have to pick up my son from school and go to the grocery store, and all the other things I'm responsible for. If I can't drive, I'm a prisoner, so I too am sooo thankful for Xanax. I think you are right, that it is some kind of chemical imbalance that people like us have to deal with. I don't know if it's a physical abnormality or our minds causing us to have an adrenaline surge because we're thinking too much and we overload ourselves. The problem is that our medication can be abused by some, so people just assume if we take it, we must be drug abusers too. That's why it's great that we can all come here, where there are others just like us and we can lean on each other "virtual" shoulders.

Have a good day!
-SRMom

 
Old 08-30-2005, 10:04 AM   #9
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Re: Do You Hide Your Anxiety Problems for Fear of Embarassment of Misunderstanding?

I'm so glad to have found this post. I was feeling "that feeling" last night... could sense it coming on but just hoped I would naturally fall asleep. At 3:30AM after hours of judging myself, trying to talk myself out of the anxiousness, telling myself that I'm safe and nothing is wrong and that I have no reason to feel stress about (other than the fact that I'm getting married in 4 months, have a highly stressful job and a highly stressful future mother-in-law!!!! HA!), I took half a Xanax. And felt such self-loathing. Feel like I should be able to get through a night and only use the Xanax during the day when things really do seem to be too much. I have the number of a psychiatrist, b/c my general doctor won't prescribe me anymore Xanax (believe me, I don't abuse it and still have plenty of pills), but am afraid to go b/c I don't want to go down a path of being on a once-a-day pill. Would rather keep taking the Xanax or something like it on an as needed basis. Scared the doc will prescribe anti-depressants or something similar which I don't want. Anyway, it makes me feel better to hear people saying that they take it and don't feel the guilt that I feel afterwards. I'm trying to be open about it, telling my fiance and also my family that I'm considering anxiety meds, but it doesn't change the way I feel about it myself.

 
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