If any have read some of my last several posts you would know that I was recently an inpatient to get my anxiety/depression under control. I have been out of the hospital for 11 days now. I was doing so so at home. Nothing compared to what I was before. My husband was home with me though these last 11 days. He was on vacation. Well, he went back to work this afternoon and I feel like I am gonna come undone. Feeling so shakey and scared inside. I am not having panic attacks just really really anxious feeling. I didn't think it would bother me so much to not have him here. Now that it's just me and the kids I have the anxiety building up again.
I am on Paxil cr 12.5 mg and klonopin .5 in the a.m. and 1mg before bed. My dose of Paxil won't be increased until I see my new psych doctor 2 weeks from now. I am thinking it is not enough.
I feel awful. I have that shakey feeling inside and just feel really scared. I have a bunch of health problems going on and they just keep going round and round in my head. The Paxil was supposed to stop that and it was doing and okay job until today.
I met with a new therapist a couple of days ago and I meet with him again this saturday to try and teach me some coping skills.
I think I am going to take my klonopin now instead of before bed. I can't shake this feeling. I even went to a friends house for a little while and it didn't go away.
It sounds to me that your husband has become your secutity blanket. Does it seem like when he's around he offers you protection against anything bad, even bad thoughts and feelings? Then when he's away its like you're totally lost and you dont know what to do with yourself?
"All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from the senses."
I agree with Deranga sounds like your hub is now your security blanket.I had this same problem when the anxiety first hit me 11 years ago.I still had physical symptoms when hubby was with me,but I didnt feel no where near as anxious and scared.
I think you have hit the nail right on the head. For instance..I think I may be getting optic neuritis in my eye again..it scares the heck out of me cuz they don't know which disease I have that is causing it. I have to wait to call the eye doctor back tommorow so he can take a look at it. When my husband was home I was okay with having to wait. Now that he is gone I am thinking the worst and my mind won't shut off.
Even though there are people who have health anxiety I am someone who has health anxiety over a current health issue. I think the worst of either diagnosis that I may get. I just can't seem to get my mind to stop doing that.
I feel so bad for everyone. Anyone who experiences health anxiety puts themselves through you know what just like I do. It doesn't really matter if you truly have a physical ailment or not..I am sure it is still the same dreadful feeling.
I only called my hubby twice on his cell phone. I wanted to call him a zillion times but I held myself back. I feel like I have to wean myself from him.
I also started to teach myself to crochet tonight...not that I really like it but it makes me concentrate on something else besides my worries.
Even my kids don't make me feel better and I feel so much guilt over that. I am 31 years old and these last 9 years have been so difficult for me. I guess that is why I am so attached to my hubby and he is now my security. I can't wait for him to get home tonight. Only thing is he will be gone for work by 6 am in the morning.
I hope I get over it soon. Thanks for talking and listening to me. deb