Well, you came to the right place because, not only do I have OCD, but I have GAD as well! My OCD is obviously the most prevalent, but my therapist says that my GAD is so intertwined with my OCD, that it's impossible to see the GAD as a separate entity (unlike the OCD, which manifests itself in practically everything I do...
). It seems that even when I have GAD-related worries, it crosses the line, and becomes obsessional. For example, today, I have homework to do, and I'm already having a panic attack because I'm worried that I won't get it done, that I won't understand what I read and will consequently fail, feel guilty that I haven't started it, and feel nervous to actually start it. Now, yes, worries about success in school is usually a GAD worry because the person is worrying about a realistic event, excessively, but mine doesn't end at, "Oh, I have so much to do. I hope I can get everything done and make good grades..." Oh, no! Instead, mine becomes obsessional catastrophic thinking and I have the guilt that is so indicative of OCD. Another good example would be a few weeks ago, before I started college. Again, a person who only had GAD would worry about fitting in, doing well academically, and things along those lines that actually could happen, but my OCD had a field day with this for almost two months! "What if I fail and I can't become a
{REMOVED}? Then, my mother will have wasted her money and I didn't become everything. What if I forget something that I'll need at home? What if I run out of shampoo, toothpaste, and other toiletries and I can't get to a store? What if I can't understand the material? I'm not smart enough to go to college. I'm stupid and I'm going to fail calculus..." These were just a fraction of the crap that spun around in my head for the past two months. Mine is pure "what if" obsessional worry about a typical GAD situation. Confusing, isn't it? I think that a GAD-er would see how silly it is to run out of something, but an OCD-er like me, must always stockpile, reorganize, and be prepared. Of course, I have straight blasphemous and violent (used to have sexual, too) obsessions not related to the GAD whatsoever, but these are prime examples of the two intertwined and connected. I think that some of my more realistic worries start out as excessive worrying, but then the catastrophic, "what if" thinking of OCD just takes it further and creates unrealistic worries. If you're suspected to have OCD, I would think you'd be more like me. For the longest time, I doubted I had OCD, too because I have very few compulsions- but, as it turned out, I have lots of compulsions and repetitive acts that I subconsciously do to keep my mind busy- they're just all mental compulsions! If you want to hear something really funny and ironic, I would research and research obsessively, checking and re-checking the OCD symptoms to see if I actually had it, or if I was just making myself think I did. When I was finally diagnosed last year, I still went on the Internet because I thought, "What if I don't have OCD? What if I'm just exaggerating and making the doctors think I do? What if I really just faking to get attention?" Of course, the irony is that only a true obsessive-compulsive would obsess over whether they really were obsessive-compulsive!
I hoped this helped, and if you have any other questions, feel free to ask! God bless!
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
